I want to start clean...

Well.. the first deadline has passed by to change things... New Year's 2009... now there's a second deadline.. Chinese New Year.. well I have failed to set things right come 1 January 2009.. now here's a second chance.. second chance saloon to get things right... my aim to start everything with a bang.. in terms of career and everything else...

I have a point to prove.. a big point this year.. this is a make or break year in terms of my career as an auditor.. rumuors are if everything goes well.. the next promotion for my batch would be in June.. I definitely would not want to miss that promotion.. I know I have a short 4 months to prove myself to my seniors and managers.. that I'm capable of doing what it takes to be there.. I need to prove to my doubters (I am the biggest doubter of myself.. haha) that I can do it.. I am not what I appear to be.. I am more than that.. way more than that..
Mental strength and self confidence is my biggest weakness.. I really have to admit I have poor mental strength.. I tend to lose my direction when I'm under stress.. I lose direction.. when I hit a wall.. not knowing how to turn left or right... I lose direction when I'm thrown on a solo challenge... To overcome everything else.. I need to first overcome myself.... I am the biggest enemy of myself...

Next thing.. I need to stop taking those convenience provided by my family.. For the past 20 over odd years, my family has been extremely protective over me.. especially my dad.. I need to stop taking things for granted and start realizing that I am 23 this year.. I am old enough to take care of myself and I do not need anyone to back me up in life.. yeah.. I may need assistance.. but not each and everyday of my life...

Target.. My target is to endure.. this is the biggest test so far in my life.. having to deal with reality.. with the most common sight of human.. where there is minimal forgiveness for your mistakes or your clumsiness.. The phrase "I'm sorry, I think I made a mistake" is no longer acceptable... or "I'm sorry.. I think I'm still a newbie" .. that is no longer acceptable as well...

I want to start clean.. quit all my bad habits.. pick up new things.. I am in a learning process.. I need to improve.. I need to move forward.. I have to show what I am capable of.. I will and I swear I will not give up till the battle is done..

Too many times

Too many times...

I have failed to hang on to my resolutions...
I have failed to change for the better...
I have failed to see the bigger picture...
I have failed to be ambitious...
I have made the same mistakes...
I have failed to leave up to expectations...
I have walked down the same path..
I have stayed in my comfort zone......
I have failed to show determination...
I have complained about my surroundings...
I have failed to see that the problem lies in me...
I have reasons for my failures...
I have over-estimated my ability...
I lose confidence when I face obstacles...

It's just too many times I failed to be the better man.. time to buck up and move forward..