Love is a probably an aspect of my life that I have not mentioned about or written about.. firstly, it's one of the aspects in my life that I can't handle that well and I have quite a number of heartbreaking experiences in this area... Recent happenings to my friends has put extra doubts on relationships.. Maybe I watched too much American Pie and my perception of relationships has changed quite a fair bit. Well, I guess relationships are like technology.. they evolve as time changes.. people want different things and need different things from a relationship.. A few decades back.. falling in love with one person.. means being with them forever (well.. at least that's my perception of people back then).
So what do I think couples seek out of relationship nowadays.. For guys.. the main thing would definitely be to able to have sex and to engage in whatsoever sexual intercouse.. relationship is like a licence to do so.. well.. for girls.. I would believe.. sex is important as well.. but I guess.. for them.. the thing that they seek out of a relationship is to have someone to be able to sacrifice for them and to have someone to be able to do something for them... Fair enough.. some of you would argue that.. friends with benefits would be able to do that as well... but think about it.. if you are in a relationship.. no one would bitch about u! Besides that, relationships nowadays are based much more around looks, money, and not primarily on qualities you see in the other person. OH.. convenience can also be a basis for a relationship! There are many more bull shits.. that could lead to a relationship.. well takes time to name them all!
Well, I would say.. relationships are really vague.. people who are in relationships.. sometimes they are not even sure whether they like the other person or they just want a companion because they are lonely. Some people are in relationships mainly because they want to have one. Long distance relationships is one thing that I never agreed and will never agree with.. it's just because.. I think physical presence in a relationship is very important instead of communicating with someone over the phone.. You can say whatever you want on the phone.. but when you are talking to one another face to face.. it's hard to lie.. it's hard for you to not tell the truth.. unless you are really cold blooded and you have no feelings for the other person at all.. LDRs just doesn't have the substance that is required in a healthy relationship (it might work for some people, I don't deny it). Well, I feel once you're separated from your partner, both of you just have your own lives and you just can't be monitoring their life over the phone, webcam or whatsoever no matter how great the technology is.
Well, maybe I haven't met someone that I would trully love and would trully sacrifice for.. at this stage, I would say I'm rather immature to be in a relationship.. but from my very own experience.. relationships work both ways.. it doesn't work if only one side is putting in the effort and the other side is just half-hearted. Yeah.. love is blind.. but you can't be blind forever and be the one giving in all the time.. Everyone seeks for the perfect one.. the perfect love.. the perfect relationship.. the perfect marriage... but how many actually gets it..? Think about it..
Well, it's rather a long post.. should end it here.. to all the people who are in relationships.. appreciate it! To those who don't have one.. you ain't that bad.. don't worry.. and to those who has problems with relationships and LDRs.. well.. good luck mate!
Wednesday, October 11, 2006
Tuesday, October 10, 2006
6 weeks left...
8.45 a.m in the morning, a rare sight for me, Kee Hong Tan to be at the dinning table, having breakfast and talking some random bull shit with some other people that I hardly talked to. People actually laugh when they see me, it's as though it's criminal for me to be down for breakfast! First thing they asked me was.. hey.. why so early..? I decided to wake up early today to have some bacons with eggs that I have been wanting to have for quite some time. I realize yesterday that I got 6 weeks left to do so and that means there is 5 more times for bacon and eggs excluding this breakfast.
If you were to ask me whether I enjoyed my IH life, I wouldn't know how to answer your question. I would say it was hell of a year last year when everything was new and everyone seemed so interesting. It's just like when you get something new, you tend to want to use it more, as it wears out, you seem to be keeping it aside more and more. Well, my IH life could have been better if I actually made an effort to know more people and to talk to more people. Partially it was my fault for my not so interesting year this year. Yeah, you can blame it on being a senior and tell others you just can't be bothered to repeat the whole process u did at o-week where you just ask some random bull shit to know some other people. Little did I know at o-week, that I would end up with a bunch of fijians, sri lankans, two unique indians, one sissy malaysian boy, and two blur than ever malaysian girls ( I didn't know most of them during o-week). It seems like it's been a while.. and along this journey.. a lot seemed to happenned.. some good, some bad, some just can't be explained by words. Sometimes, you wish u could go back to all the good moments and have a good laugh when everything was simple and care-free.. but all you could do now... is look at those pictures on your laptop.. and smile at ur silliness..
A part of me wants to leave IH.. a part of me doesn't want to... eventhough I'm not exceptionally sure that one thing that makes me not want to leave. Maybe it's the hassle...? Maybe I still love being in IH..? Maybe it's basketball..? I really don't know.. All I know is.. for the next 6 week or so.. I'll try to make the most of my IH life.. get closer to more people... try to make more friends before I leave and make full use of their facilities! hahahahhaha.. at least I can tell myself that I actually accomplished something...
Short note: Thanks to all those people who cared for me while I'm sick.. appreciate it.. I went to the doctor already.. he said i would cure in 1 or 2 months.. GOSH.. it's some post viral cough or some bull shit like that.. he didn't want to give me any medicine but on request he gave me an ASTHMA INHALER.. how cool is that..?
If you were to ask me whether I enjoyed my IH life, I wouldn't know how to answer your question. I would say it was hell of a year last year when everything was new and everyone seemed so interesting. It's just like when you get something new, you tend to want to use it more, as it wears out, you seem to be keeping it aside more and more. Well, my IH life could have been better if I actually made an effort to know more people and to talk to more people. Partially it was my fault for my not so interesting year this year. Yeah, you can blame it on being a senior and tell others you just can't be bothered to repeat the whole process u did at o-week where you just ask some random bull shit to know some other people. Little did I know at o-week, that I would end up with a bunch of fijians, sri lankans, two unique indians, one sissy malaysian boy, and two blur than ever malaysian girls ( I didn't know most of them during o-week). It seems like it's been a while.. and along this journey.. a lot seemed to happenned.. some good, some bad, some just can't be explained by words. Sometimes, you wish u could go back to all the good moments and have a good laugh when everything was simple and care-free.. but all you could do now... is look at those pictures on your laptop.. and smile at ur silliness..
A part of me wants to leave IH.. a part of me doesn't want to... eventhough I'm not exceptionally sure that one thing that makes me not want to leave. Maybe it's the hassle...? Maybe I still love being in IH..? Maybe it's basketball..? I really don't know.. All I know is.. for the next 6 week or so.. I'll try to make the most of my IH life.. get closer to more people... try to make more friends before I leave and make full use of their facilities! hahahahhaha.. at least I can tell myself that I actually accomplished something...
Short note: Thanks to all those people who cared for me while I'm sick.. appreciate it.. I went to the doctor already.. he said i would cure in 1 or 2 months.. GOSH.. it's some post viral cough or some bull shit like that.. he didn't want to give me any medicine but on request he gave me an ASTHMA INHALER.. how cool is that..?
Sunday, October 08, 2006
Never felt so sick in 2 years...
Seriously.. I hate being sick! It's as though your whole day is gloomy and all you ever did was trying to get some sleep. And even that, you can't do it properly! You seem to be coughing all the time, your nose seems to be running like a water tap... You get up a few times when you're sleeping just to drink water or puke.. but you still continue coughing! (I tried sleeping at 4 and I ended up sleeping at 8.30.. I couldn't sleep cause I needed to go to the toilet, I need a warm cup of water, I need to puke.. and I JUST WON'T STOP COUGHING.. DAMN!) You want to go for a run.. and when you do.. you realize.. you almost choke to death at the end of the run... You are hungry.. you missed brunch.. you want to go out and get some food.. you realize.. you're just too sick to get out of your room.. yet to go all the way to the city.. you realize you want to cook something.. there's nothing in the fridge.. yet again.... you can't be bothered to go to the city...
Gosh.. it's been a month since i started coughing.. i've never coughed for such a long time.. never felt so sick in like two years.. I got two assignments that are gonna due soon.. I got heaps of work to be done.. but I feel unwell.. and I really need to go to the doctor.. but you know.. you're just too sick.. to catch a tram and go see the doctor.. *whining*.. oh well.. i just hate seeing the doctor and eating medicine for some reason.. maybe had too much of them when I was young.. well.. the kee hong you see today.. isn't the same kee hong like 13 to 14 years back.. the kee hong back then.. was a weak.. and much thinner one.. oh well.. now that i've grown to be like a bull.. i'm still so weak.. SHITZZZZZZZZ.......
How I wish I was home.. at least someone could have drove me to the doctor.. or maybe some chinese medicine that my mom gets from the singse would have helped.. right now... I'm just stuck in my room.. waiting for the cough to cure by itself.. Seriously... it's not funny to fall sick.. when you're overseas.. You don't feel like eating sucky food when you're sick.. or you wished you had some porridge to eat.. (SHIT I COULD HAVE GOTTEN PORRIDGE DURING BRUNCH, COULDN'T WAKE UP!) and all SCHOLAREST serves you is shitty oilly food.. CURSE YOU.. SCHOLAREST!!! REALLY!!
Ok.. I'm just whining cos I'm sick.. wanna have a shower.. BYE!
On a plus side... Thanks to CC for the porridge and everyone else who offered me medicine and cared about my health.. thanks.. really appreciate it!
Gosh.. it's been a month since i started coughing.. i've never coughed for such a long time.. never felt so sick in like two years.. I got two assignments that are gonna due soon.. I got heaps of work to be done.. but I feel unwell.. and I really need to go to the doctor.. but you know.. you're just too sick.. to catch a tram and go see the doctor.. *whining*.. oh well.. i just hate seeing the doctor and eating medicine for some reason.. maybe had too much of them when I was young.. well.. the kee hong you see today.. isn't the same kee hong like 13 to 14 years back.. the kee hong back then.. was a weak.. and much thinner one.. oh well.. now that i've grown to be like a bull.. i'm still so weak.. SHITZZZZZZZZ.......
How I wish I was home.. at least someone could have drove me to the doctor.. or maybe some chinese medicine that my mom gets from the singse would have helped.. right now... I'm just stuck in my room.. waiting for the cough to cure by itself.. Seriously... it's not funny to fall sick.. when you're overseas.. You don't feel like eating sucky food when you're sick.. or you wished you had some porridge to eat.. (SHIT I COULD HAVE GOTTEN PORRIDGE DURING BRUNCH, COULDN'T WAKE UP!) and all SCHOLAREST serves you is shitty oilly food.. CURSE YOU.. SCHOLAREST!!! REALLY!!
Ok.. I'm just whining cos I'm sick.. wanna have a shower.. BYE!
On a plus side... Thanks to CC for the porridge and everyone else who offered me medicine and cared about my health.. thanks.. really appreciate it!
Wednesday, October 04, 2006
A poem to remember..
I stole this from a friend (su san) of mine's blog.. felt it was quite a good poem. Something I did in English literature in Form 5. I'll pay u for copyright fees when i get back... and remember to pay me for the click post... and actually raymond... I shall charge you for a walk to remember post.. haha..
If
If you can keep your head when all about you
Are losing theirs and blaming it on you;
If you can trust yourself when all men doubt you,
But make allowance for their doubting too;
If you can wait and not be tired by waiting,
Or, being lied about, don't deal in lies,
Or, being hated, don't give way to hating,
And yet don't look too good, nor talk too wise;
If you can dream - and not make dreams your master;
If you can think - and not make thoughts your aim;
If you can meet with triumph and disaster
And treat those two imposters just the same;
If you can bear to hear the truth you've spoken
Twisted by knaves to make a trap for fools,
Or watch the things you gave your life to broken,
And stoop and build 'em up with wornout tools;
If you can make one heap of all your winnings
And risk it on one turn of pitch-and-toss,
And lose, and start again at your beginnings
And never breath a word about your loss;
If you can force your heart and nerve and sinew
To serve your turn long after they are gone,
And so hold on when there is nothing in you
Except the Will which says to them: "Hold on";
If you can talk with crowds and keep your virtue,
Or walk with kings - nor lose the common touch;
If neither foes nor loving friends can hurt you;
If all men count with you, but none too much;
If you can fill the unforgiving minute
With sixty seconds' worth of distance run -
Yours is the Earth and everything that's in it,
And - which is more - you'll be a Man my son!
Rudyard Kipling
If
If you can keep your head when all about you
Are losing theirs and blaming it on you;
If you can trust yourself when all men doubt you,
But make allowance for their doubting too;
If you can wait and not be tired by waiting,
Or, being lied about, don't deal in lies,
Or, being hated, don't give way to hating,
And yet don't look too good, nor talk too wise;
If you can dream - and not make dreams your master;
If you can think - and not make thoughts your aim;
If you can meet with triumph and disaster
And treat those two imposters just the same;
If you can bear to hear the truth you've spoken
Twisted by knaves to make a trap for fools,
Or watch the things you gave your life to broken,
And stoop and build 'em up with wornout tools;
If you can make one heap of all your winnings
And risk it on one turn of pitch-and-toss,
And lose, and start again at your beginnings
And never breath a word about your loss;
If you can force your heart and nerve and sinew
To serve your turn long after they are gone,
And so hold on when there is nothing in you
Except the Will which says to them: "Hold on";
If you can talk with crowds and keep your virtue,
Or walk with kings - nor lose the common touch;
If neither foes nor loving friends can hurt you;
If all men count with you, but none too much;
If you can fill the unforgiving minute
With sixty seconds' worth of distance run -
Yours is the Earth and everything that's in it,
And - which is more - you'll be a Man my son!
Rudyard Kipling
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