Love is a probably an aspect of my life that I have not mentioned about or written about.. firstly, it's one of the aspects in my life that I can't handle that well and I have quite a number of heartbreaking experiences in this area... Recent happenings to my friends has put extra doubts on relationships.. Maybe I watched too much American Pie and my perception of relationships has changed quite a fair bit. Well, I guess relationships are like technology.. they evolve as time changes.. people want different things and need different things from a relationship.. A few decades back.. falling in love with one person.. means being with them forever (well.. at least that's my perception of people back then).
So what do I think couples seek out of relationship nowadays.. For guys.. the main thing would definitely be to able to have sex and to engage in whatsoever sexual intercouse.. relationship is like a licence to do so.. well.. for girls.. I would believe.. sex is important as well.. but I guess.. for them.. the thing that they seek out of a relationship is to have someone to be able to sacrifice for them and to have someone to be able to do something for them... Fair enough.. some of you would argue that.. friends with benefits would be able to do that as well... but think about it.. if you are in a relationship.. no one would bitch about u! Besides that, relationships nowadays are based much more around looks, money, and not primarily on qualities you see in the other person. OH.. convenience can also be a basis for a relationship! There are many more bull shits.. that could lead to a relationship.. well takes time to name them all!
Well, I would say.. relationships are really vague.. people who are in relationships.. sometimes they are not even sure whether they like the other person or they just want a companion because they are lonely. Some people are in relationships mainly because they want to have one. Long distance relationships is one thing that I never agreed and will never agree with.. it's just because.. I think physical presence in a relationship is very important instead of communicating with someone over the phone.. You can say whatever you want on the phone.. but when you are talking to one another face to face.. it's hard to lie.. it's hard for you to not tell the truth.. unless you are really cold blooded and you have no feelings for the other person at all.. LDRs just doesn't have the substance that is required in a healthy relationship (it might work for some people, I don't deny it). Well, I feel once you're separated from your partner, both of you just have your own lives and you just can't be monitoring their life over the phone, webcam or whatsoever no matter how great the technology is.
Well, maybe I haven't met someone that I would trully love and would trully sacrifice for.. at this stage, I would say I'm rather immature to be in a relationship.. but from my very own experience.. relationships work both ways.. it doesn't work if only one side is putting in the effort and the other side is just half-hearted. Yeah.. love is blind.. but you can't be blind forever and be the one giving in all the time.. Everyone seeks for the perfect one.. the perfect love.. the perfect relationship.. the perfect marriage... but how many actually gets it..? Think about it..
Well, it's rather a long post.. should end it here.. to all the people who are in relationships.. appreciate it! To those who don't have one.. you ain't that bad.. don't worry.. and to those who has problems with relationships and LDRs.. well.. good luck mate!
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5 comments:
Just because your previous experiences have been heartbreaking, doesn't mean that you are a failure at love.
We all love in different ways, we all have different expectations of love. Hence, I don't deem anyone as a failure at love. Unless that person deliberately desires to be.
We all start as beginners when we first experience love. We learn various things from the people around us, and that affects how we love and how we deal with love.
Love is a very bizarre feeling. It gives you so much joy and at the same time, it hurts so much as well. But do we ever say stop, that's enough? No, it's never enough.
Because love is the reason for living. Life is short. If we never live to fall in love, life is truly futile.
There are so many different ways that you can experience love. Family, BGR, friends, pets, God, dancing, etc.
Don't limit yourself to only seeing love as a BGR. Once you've opened up your mind, don't you feel that you have a greater capacity to embrace love, in whatever forms it comes in? Once you learn to love unconditionally, you'll stop thinking that love is such a bad thing after all.
-san
wat's a BGR?
and bout LDRs, well, it's worth giving it a try u noe... altho it'll be really tough.. cuz yea.. like what u said.. things will be really different without physical "contact".. but hten again.. if the feelings are strong and mutual, why not? provided that both people involved in the relationship are responsible in upholding the relationship...
don't look at love like that and u'll experience greater things.. like wat san said.. we love in diferent ways and heartbreaking experiences doesn't make u a failure..
also, what doesn't kill u makes u stronger.. my point is that.. heartbreaking they may be, but it will only mould u to be a greater, better person....
Its very true that LDR is freakin hard
& usually unsuccessful or as u put it...insubstantial...but when u look wat the world we live today,that's how lie works,ppl r half a globe apart due to work,study or watever reason...thats jus the way the world works nowadays...n its alot of trust involved but the fact that there r so many failures probably shows how futile & fragile human beings r
a simple saying...no pain no gain...say bball for eg,u get muscle aches,u lose games,u get injured, u bcome the laughing stock....but without those u wont improve...u wont get better...u wont b who u r today nor will u bcome a better player if u get discouraged...dun avoid it but face it n challenge it
Love is imperfect of course,bcos life is imperfect as well
BGR = boy girl relationship...?
because i agree, there are so many other ways to experience love :)
i am in love, yet i am alone.. yet love is not that bad.. because its by loving someone that you actually do grow up and learn and experience the best and worst feelings in life.. and you will know who you really want to be with next time...and you'll be happy wherever the one you love lives... im happy.. because it has happened to me.. and you will one day soon.. believe me.. believe fang!!
=)
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