Little did I know..

It's quite a surprise that things can turnover in such a short period of time. Whenever I was back in Malaysia, my dad's friends usually treat me really well especially this auntie who is a florist. Whenever I'm home, she usually brings us out for meals at random places that we would never have gone by ourselves. She has a really strong character, she never gave up when she had cancer.. she fought it twice.. she managed to overcome it...

However, during chinese new year this year, she was diagnosed with cancer again for the third time. The first doctor she went sort of indicated to her that she had no hope and she was ready to join the Hospis organization ( I don't know how you spell it). Well, thankfully she got another doctor and the doctor told her she could still go for chemo. For those of you who don't know what chemo is, it is a painful treatment for cancer patients. They require the patience and determination throughout the treatment. It's not easy, you get nauseated, you feel sick and you even lose your hair.. but she never gave up.. she could still put on a smile eventhough it was painful.. she never want to show people that she was weak...

Well, despite all her determination and strength, after her last chemo treatment, the doctors realize that her cancer cells could not be controlled and that this time it could be terminal.. A few weeks ago, she was hospitalized, her hands couldn't move, she still smiled, she still told everyone she was alright. She came out and was hospitalized again two nights ago.. her hands and stomache swelling this time. The doctors told her.. she would live for another 6 months..

Sometimes, if I was the patient, I'd rather doctors not tell me how long I would live for.. it's just painful to hear.. I'd rather live in denial and just go on... I really wonder what's on her mind.. whether she thinks that she has still a lot to do, a lot of places she wants to go, about the so many things that she has to leave behind.. but I guess.. she already anticipated it.. and she's prepared.. Since her 2nd reouccurence, she told us.. everyday she lived was like a gift from heaven.. she didn't know when god would just take this 'gift' away..

The last time I met her was during winter break.. I really do not know whether I'll have a chance to meet her again.. I really hope I would.. All I could do now is pray for her and hope that she would not feel so much pain..Well, this incident makes me realize even more that sometimes we need to make sacrifices for the people close to us and not only think about our own future, our own well-being or running away from our responsibilities.. I know and I'm sure... I've not made the wrong decision.. and I know I've got to treasure the people around me.. for you'll never know.. when they'll leave u..

A tribute to those who sufferred in September 11..

Well, September 11.. the day 6 years ago where Osama had his 'jihad' warriors to crash into the World Trade Center.. and the Pentagon.. causing trauma and fear into the citizens of New York City and Washington....

Aihhss... I wonder why some people has to have their birthdays on such a sad day..... hahahahhahahaha.. jk jk.. Anyways.. Happy Birthday Sheanee Poh...!!! You're old.. you're 20 man.. gosh...! Haha..... I can say that for another month.. realize that..? Hehe.. anyways.. have a good one and take some time off your 40% essay and celebrate!

I couldn't find a good picture of you alone.. so this will do.. hehe

On another note, I'll be watching the Australia v Argentina game at MCG.. pictures up later!

Future..?

It seems like on most ppl's blog is talking about what to do in future.. haha.. everyone seems as lost.. is that what we call.. pre-graduation crisis..? This weekend has been dreadful.. I've spent two days in the law library.. completing the law assignment.. I'm so so so so so.. looking forward to next week.. I know it ain't gonna be much better.. I've got EPM and the marketing assignment to do.. but at least.. it's holidays! Get a breather.... and catch up with work at the same time..

I feel third year is definitely the hardest.... among all my study years.. who the hell ever told me that university was honeymoon life? Well, it's honeymoon life if you don't care.. other than tht.. uni life is really tough.. even commerce students like me who only have 12 hours.. feels stretched to the max certain times.. this is because we are no longer spoon fed.. we are no longer told what to do.. they just give it to u.. u do it.. if u don't know how to do it.. u get it..

Well.. that's the harshness of uni life... I feel like sometimes you just run out of steam along the way.. and wanna give up.. but you somehow drag yourself till you're done.. I'm not better than a lot of ppl.. but I think at least I put in effort in doing something... some ppl just give up on themselves... and just go downhill from there..... they never pick themselves up again.. they blame it on under elements..... they blame it on other ppl.... but I don't understand why they nvr blame themselves and start over again..? It just puzzles me....

I know they have issues.. but everyone has issues.. don't they..? Anyways... I'm praying hard.... everything goes on smoothly for me.. for the next 2-3 months till I end my time here... and go back to somewhere.. I call 'home.'

Tea with honey

It's surprising how good tea tastes with honey.... hmmm... give it a try next time when you're up doing your assignments or sutdying or whatsoever.. a good substitute for sugar! Well.. anyways.. the tax law assignment is really a pain in the ass.. haha.. Before I attended university and college, I always thought the books would be as thick and heavy as a telephone book.. Well through out the years.. the textbooks weren't that thick.. but finally this semester.. the thickness of both the tax law books are probably 1.5 of a telephone book. Gosh.. can u imagine how much material u have to cover, if u were to cover the legislations, the textbook, the lecture notes and not to mention the tutorials! I think u'll go crazy!

Anyways, derivatives mid-sem finally ended, I spent the night before that with my eyes open till 6 a.m in the morning, I really need to and I'm desperate to rectify this problem. I think this is a disorder they call anxiety.. anxiety of assessments to be specific or in my case.. anxiety of EXAMS! Haha.. maybe the stress is really on for me.. I'm really desperate to graduate and take a good break.. but oh well.. which uni student does not want to graduate? Will seriously wanna rectify this problem before my finals.. any suggestions anyone..?

Well.... looks like the two week break that I've been waiting for is coming next week.. but.. I guess I've got lots to catch up during that break and hope I don't bum around and get nothing done within that two weeks.. I got two assignments worth 30% due on October 5th.. seriously.. life as a uni student is not easy.... I'm not saying working life will be easier.... at least I'm paid for it right..? haha... Anyways, have a fun-filled weekend everyone!

First Hurdle...

Well, just came back from library, had a hardcore study session on derivatives.. tomorrow is the 30% worth mid-sem.. it's only on 3 lectures.. which worries me a lot.. cos u need to know ur stuffs inside out.. I'm sort of ready.. but still nervous some how.. had difficulty sleeping again last night.. I wonder what the bloody hell is wrong with me.. everytime have difficulty sleeping especially near this big occassions.. really hope I could find some remedy to sleep well everyday...ARGHHHHHH

This marks my very first major hurdle, testing on how much time I've spent on studying this subject and getting ready for it.... It's already week 7 it's like more than half of the way already.. I'm really anxious to get to the finish line of the race.. so that I can finally rest, relax, take a good 3 month break, restore everything back to normal.. without having to think about anything.. not even job applications or etc... I just want a break...

I really don't care about being rich.. I really don't care about having a really outstanding future.. becoming a CEO earning hundreds of thousands of dollars.. I don't care if people say I'm wasting my parents money or my family next time would not have a good future.. we don't know about the future.. so why not just concentrate on the present... I just wanna be happy and do what I really want and be at where I really want... that's all..