Little did I know..

It's quite a surprise that things can turnover in such a short period of time. Whenever I was back in Malaysia, my dad's friends usually treat me really well especially this auntie who is a florist. Whenever I'm home, she usually brings us out for meals at random places that we would never have gone by ourselves. She has a really strong character, she never gave up when she had cancer.. she fought it twice.. she managed to overcome it...

However, during chinese new year this year, she was diagnosed with cancer again for the third time. The first doctor she went sort of indicated to her that she had no hope and she was ready to join the Hospis organization ( I don't know how you spell it). Well, thankfully she got another doctor and the doctor told her she could still go for chemo. For those of you who don't know what chemo is, it is a painful treatment for cancer patients. They require the patience and determination throughout the treatment. It's not easy, you get nauseated, you feel sick and you even lose your hair.. but she never gave up.. she could still put on a smile eventhough it was painful.. she never want to show people that she was weak...

Well, despite all her determination and strength, after her last chemo treatment, the doctors realize that her cancer cells could not be controlled and that this time it could be terminal.. A few weeks ago, she was hospitalized, her hands couldn't move, she still smiled, she still told everyone she was alright. She came out and was hospitalized again two nights ago.. her hands and stomache swelling this time. The doctors told her.. she would live for another 6 months..

Sometimes, if I was the patient, I'd rather doctors not tell me how long I would live for.. it's just painful to hear.. I'd rather live in denial and just go on... I really wonder what's on her mind.. whether she thinks that she has still a lot to do, a lot of places she wants to go, about the so many things that she has to leave behind.. but I guess.. she already anticipated it.. and she's prepared.. Since her 2nd reouccurence, she told us.. everyday she lived was like a gift from heaven.. she didn't know when god would just take this 'gift' away..

The last time I met her was during winter break.. I really do not know whether I'll have a chance to meet her again.. I really hope I would.. All I could do now is pray for her and hope that she would not feel so much pain..Well, this incident makes me realize even more that sometimes we need to make sacrifices for the people close to us and not only think about our own future, our own well-being or running away from our responsibilities.. I know and I'm sure... I've not made the wrong decision.. and I know I've got to treasure the people around me.. for you'll never know.. when they'll leave u..