It's time to wake up..

Finally.. I've graduated.. that has been my goal, my dream and my wish for these three years. I finally have joined in the 'elite' group of graduates, well at least that was what I thought. After graduating, I thought, I would be able to do whatever I want from there, boy was I wrong. Being a graduate nowadays doesn't mean much nowadays, graduates are everywhere, it's just like pasar malam goods which are available at anytime any day and being a graduate means that you've only completed a small portion of what you're suppose to achieve in life.

After my exams, I sat down and thought, am I capable enough to compete in such a competitve environment in the future? Do I have enough knowledge, language skills and communication skills to do so? I really doubt it.. I have a lot of plans in my mind.. but I just can't execute it, I want to improve my English, I want to improve my Mandarin, I want to be in real good shape and I want to have a good job, but I just don't know how.

All this while, I've relied on others to help me, provide me with guidance, I guess it's about time, I wake up from my dreams and start rely on myself and measure how far I've improved in these three years time. I can't believe it.. I still have to rely on my sister and kee win to help me with my job application.. I was thinking.. where will I end up if no one ever helped me? Am I really that useless? Am I really not capable at all? I look back at my life.. and realize.. all this while I've never taken the initiative to improve myself.. I've never bothered to read books, read journals, magazines or anything at all.. all I ever did was.. see what is in front of me.. and never looked beyond it... I relied on others to plan for me.. I relied on others to guide me..

When will I grow? Please let me know...