Patience...

I feel like I'm running out of patience already.. it feels forever before my first paper starts.. it feels like that time is stalled.. ppl are moving way ahead of me.. I'm still stuck at my count of zero exams.. I agree you have more time to study.. but I'm so afraid that I would forget what I study before my exams start...

Oh well.. I shall not complain so much.. I really feel so thankful for being able to sleep peacefully for the past one week.. I hope it will continue to be like this.. no more watching soccer games in the middle of the morning for me! That really screwed up my whole routine.. I'm starting to get use to coming to the library everyday now.. it doesn't feel that bad actually.. at least when I get home.. I know I'm done for the day.. and I can just relax...

I really can't be bothered about grades.. H1.. H2A.. I told myself.. I'm just gonna attempt to do my best.. I won't set targest for myself.. I'm gonna achieve what I can.. it doesn't matter what is the outcome.. as long as I know.. I didn't just waste my time and do nothing.. my method of studying might be wrong.. but hey.. at least I put effort into it.. I could answer daringly to anyone that I actually put effort into this exam.. I have no regrets...

Almost there... almost there...

Finally.. some good news came in today.. I woke up this morning full of energy... don't know why... I knew it was gonna be a good day.. the sun was bright in the morning.. I switched on the tv..! Liverpool v Besiktas.. I quickly showered and watched the second half.. Boy oh Boy.. if only we play like that week in week out.. we would whoop anyone's ass... even Brazil or Italy or anyone at all.. I reckon.. the width was there.. everything was there.. I really wonder how we lost to Besiktas away...? It's just not possible!!!!!!!

Anyways.. the good news does not stop there.. ! I went to 7-11.. I didn't see anyone there at first.. I thought the free slurpee thing was just some hoax to make me embarass myself to ask for a free slurpee..!! Well, I eventually made myself brave and went in and ask for a free slurpee... the cashier was quiet.. as though he didn't want to give it to me.. but he told me to get a small slurpee in the end..

And then... the dreaded hour.. 1.00 p.m.. finally arrived.. the time that will decide whether I passed my strategic marketing before I sit for the exams.. well.. I didn't pass.. BUT....... I was only 0.5 marks away from passing now..! means.. if they round it up.. I'll PASS!!!!! YAYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY!!!!!!!!!!!!! This is definitely the best piece of news for this whole week! I've never been able to know my fate before my exams.... well.. this is the one and only one and this is good.. Gosh.. thank god.. it was actually a blessing in disguise.. I would have to thank the tutor and lecturer as well! ahhaha...

Anyways.. back to studies.. can't procrastinate... good luck to everyone having exams... especially those having audit this Friday.. almost there.. almost there...... a bit more...... then everything will be done!!!!! YOU'LL NEVER WALK ALONE!!!!!!!

How bad can your Mondays get..?

Spending your whole Monday in the library.. is one of the worst things to do.. btw.. this comic strip was published on my birthday in the year of 1986! Gosh..... I seriously can't wait anymore.. I need to finish exams..! I need to..

Mika - Happy ending...

Wake up in the morning,
Stumble on my life.
Can't get no love without sacrifice.
If anything should happen,
I guess I wish you well.
Mm A little bit of heaven,
With a little bit of hell.

This is the hardest story that I've ever told. (ooooo)
No hope, no love, no glory.
A happy ending gone forever more.
I feel as if I'm wasted,
And I'm wasted everyday.

This is the way you left me.
I'm not pretending.
No hope, no love, no glory,
No happy ending.
This is the way that we love,
Like its forever.
Then live the rest of our life,
But not together.

Two o'clock in the morning,
Something's on my mind.
Can't get no rest,
Keep walking around.
If I pretend that nothing ever went wrong
I can get to my sleep
I can think that we just carried on.

This is the hardest story that I've ever told. (ooooo)
No hope, no love, no glory.
A happy ending gone forever more.
I fell as if I'm wasted,
And I'm wasted everyday.


This is the way you left me, (Oh I fell as if I'm wasted)
I'm not pretending.
No hope, no love, no glory,
No happy ending.
This is the way that we love, (And I'm wasted everyday)
Like its forever.
Then live the rest of our life,
But not together.

I won't backdown..

The feared time of the year is around the corner again.. EXAMS... somehow or rather sleep is difficult for me during this period of time.. I have trouble gaining good sleep during this time.. I can go to bed at 11 or 12 and end up really falling asleep at about 4-6. I know its weird... But tracking back, I realized my sleeping disorder didn't just suddenly come..

I remember when I was back in Form 5, sometimes I would have trouble sleeping till four or five in the morning while preparing for exams.. I usually drink a large thermos of coffee and can drink up to 6 cups of coffee in a day.. explains why I can't sleep and that I'm a cafeine addict or you can say that I'm abusing cafeine...

Well this time around is no exception.. for the past few days I've had lots of difficulty getting good sleep.. but this time around.. there's no giving up.. I'm gonna do what it takes to finish off this race.. even if it takes me to do things that I refuse to do.. Nothing's gonna stop me from finishing this...

Special thanks to everyone!
Just would like to thank everyone again.. for coming, helping me clean, cook, preparing....!

Back to reality..

Well.. after two days of a dream..... it's finally back to reality.. Haha.. sometimes.. I feel birthdays are like that.. you have a day of a dream.. and next day you're back to reality.... you have to start worrying bout studies and tutes.. and etc!

Anyways.. I would like thank everyone who showed up at the party and everyone who helped me prepare, cook, clean up and showering me with presents.. Thanks a lot.. It was a memorable 21st birthday.. One because I got drunk.. within 1 or 2 minutes of a tequla shot mixed with beer.. courtesy of kenny chua.. two.. cause this might be my last time celebrating my birthday some of the people here in Melboune... at this stage.. it's already quite clear that I'll be celebrating my next birthday in M'sia...

Well.. birthdays used to be really quiet for me.. when I was back home.. as it was usually near some major exams.. and I have to wait till November to celebrate my b'day.. haha.. gosh.. well.. over this 3 years.. my birthdays has never been short of quiet.. in fact.. I have a big bunch of friends celebrating with me... and I'm really thankful of that...! However, I've been passing out for my past two birthdays.. gosh.. my tolerance is just so bad..

Once again.. thanks a lot to everyone.. and thanks a lot for the presents and help you guys provided for me..! I really appreciate it.. and sorry for passing out for 2 hours and not being able to say goodbye to some of you before you leave.. really sorry!

The taste of summer..

Damn.. this is my 100th post.. considering that I have started blogging for well over a year and this is my 100th post.. shows that I'm a lazy bugger... hahahahhaha.. Anyways.. today's weather was the perfect weather.. It hit 29 degrees and everything was just lively and it's nice to be at outdoors... Most importantly... the season for chicks to dress up in their hot attires finally arrived.. boy I swear.. how I wished everyday was like this till the end of next week.. which is my final week...

Thinking about it.. I won't be able to see hot chicks everyday next time when I go to work... haha.. I'll probably see one or two a day.. but not as many as over here.. seriously.. there are a lot of pretty girls in University of Melbourne... just that.. you'll never get to know them.. unless you're thick face enough to just ask them for their name or phone number... and thinking of my work place.. the majority of the people there would be much older than me.. either in their late 20s or early 30s.. gosh.. even if they were hot.. they'll either be married or already have a bf..

Oh well.. such is working life.. and you'll never get to see such a huge quantity of chicks in a day at your workplace!

Random dreams...

For the past one week.. I've been having random dreams.. it started off with a dream that kaiyau *touchwood 1st* met an accident and crushed this small boy and broke him into two parts... damn random... joanna and jaclyn was in the car too.. After that, I dreamt that I was having a war with my friend who used to be my enemy during school days... I used a bazooka and blasted my last few shots at him and his army.. I had to hide after that... EVEN MORE RANDOM....

Then two days ago.. I dreamt that my dad and his friends had to go to jail for tresspassing my school *touchwood again*.. he drove his car into the school compound and had to go to jail... gosh.. and the highlight was yesterday.. I dreamt of small little baby ghosts... gosh.. if I've not mistaken ler.. I can't really remember.. but it was along those lines.. I really don't know what's wrong with my dreams.. conclusion is.. one you're awake from ur sleep.. dun sleep again.. u usually get nightmares or bad dreams...

Well.. back to reality.. exams are approximately 29 days from today.. and I haven't started doing anything.. this week is gonna be very busy.. have a lot of stuffs to do and settle and need to finalise my job application.. and like what daniel said on his blog.. flare dance was really good.. not only because the chicks were hot.. but also the performances were good.. I particularly liked the cops and robbers dance cos I find it the most entertaining one and easy too understand.. other acts were really good as well.. jus tht I find it hard to understand... maybe dance is really a complicated art... flare dance reminds me of my school days when I was a Leo Club member and I had to perform in a hip hop dance.. I remember testing my senior's patience.. cos I really was like a 'kayu.'

Anyways.. have a great week!

Did You Know..?

While tax law is annoying in terms of its assignments, I find it quite an interesting subject, there are a lot of things that I never knew why is actually explained by that subject... For example, did you all know that an employer is the one who gets taxed when he brings out employees for a meal and not the employee who is the recipient. Funny thing is, if you take away the food and consume it in the tax office, it might be exempted or deductible! Besides that, funny things like.. if an employee gets a whole pizza, then it would be taxable for the employer, and if its one slice for each employee then it is not taxable! GOosh.. really... and if you really wanna reduce tax for providing cars to your employees, just get your employee to drive around and go anywhere he/she wants in the company car so that it would reach a certain mileage and the tax would be reduced!

Other ridiculous stuffs are like GST, did you know that unprocessed food is GST-free..? Roasted nuts would be charged with GST, while unroasted nuts would not be charged with GST... I always thought that the price difference was due to roasted and unroasted.. little did I know that once you roast the nuts.. you need to pay for GST.. And anything that is sugar-coated has to be charged with GST... SO.. does that explain why Krispy Kreme has all its donuts sugar-coated..? Haha, I guess not.. and DAMN IT.. they even charged GST for bread with sugar coating and maybe if you eat those wholegrain bread.. it might also be charged with GST.. in other words.. just freaking it plain bread..! Quite ridiculous some of the stuffs that are included in this subject...

So ladies n gentleman, next time you know wat to do.. buy ur meat and vegetables raw, eat doughnuts without sugar coating, if you have a company car, make sure you drive it around everyday and travel around with it...! Do not eat roasted nuts! You are better off roasting it yourself.. If you are an employer, only give your employee one slice of pizza and never allow them to bring anything home!

Farewell..

Well, looks like everything has to come to an end..... a story's gotta have an ending so does one's life. The family friend that I mentioned about in the last passed away today, at 5.00 a.m in the morning. It's a great loss to both her family and my family as well. I'm saddenned by the fact that I do not get to see her before she leaves. It might still be a good thing though, as her prettiest sight would be the one that is kept in my memory... She's been really nice towards my family and I.. I will always remember her.. for the random restaurants and places to eat that she brought us to...

I will always remember her for being one of the kindest friend that my father's had.. I will remember her for her strong character, never giving up.. and never back down from her disease for third time... I will always remember the afternoon coffee that I always have with her... I wished I had a picture of her.. but I really don't remember taking any pictures with her... I feel sad.... but I know.. everyday she's alive means a whole lot of pain to her... I know she would be better off leaving..

Her death reminds me.. that everyone has to go through the cycle of life and death.. Her death reminds me that our life has been destined since the day we were born.... It reminds me what is the most important thing in my life.. So farewell.. my beloved friend..... you'll be in my prayers..

Little did I know..

It's quite a surprise that things can turnover in such a short period of time. Whenever I was back in Malaysia, my dad's friends usually treat me really well especially this auntie who is a florist. Whenever I'm home, she usually brings us out for meals at random places that we would never have gone by ourselves. She has a really strong character, she never gave up when she had cancer.. she fought it twice.. she managed to overcome it...

However, during chinese new year this year, she was diagnosed with cancer again for the third time. The first doctor she went sort of indicated to her that she had no hope and she was ready to join the Hospis organization ( I don't know how you spell it). Well, thankfully she got another doctor and the doctor told her she could still go for chemo. For those of you who don't know what chemo is, it is a painful treatment for cancer patients. They require the patience and determination throughout the treatment. It's not easy, you get nauseated, you feel sick and you even lose your hair.. but she never gave up.. she could still put on a smile eventhough it was painful.. she never want to show people that she was weak...

Well, despite all her determination and strength, after her last chemo treatment, the doctors realize that her cancer cells could not be controlled and that this time it could be terminal.. A few weeks ago, she was hospitalized, her hands couldn't move, she still smiled, she still told everyone she was alright. She came out and was hospitalized again two nights ago.. her hands and stomache swelling this time. The doctors told her.. she would live for another 6 months..

Sometimes, if I was the patient, I'd rather doctors not tell me how long I would live for.. it's just painful to hear.. I'd rather live in denial and just go on... I really wonder what's on her mind.. whether she thinks that she has still a lot to do, a lot of places she wants to go, about the so many things that she has to leave behind.. but I guess.. she already anticipated it.. and she's prepared.. Since her 2nd reouccurence, she told us.. everyday she lived was like a gift from heaven.. she didn't know when god would just take this 'gift' away..

The last time I met her was during winter break.. I really do not know whether I'll have a chance to meet her again.. I really hope I would.. All I could do now is pray for her and hope that she would not feel so much pain..Well, this incident makes me realize even more that sometimes we need to make sacrifices for the people close to us and not only think about our own future, our own well-being or running away from our responsibilities.. I know and I'm sure... I've not made the wrong decision.. and I know I've got to treasure the people around me.. for you'll never know.. when they'll leave u..

A tribute to those who sufferred in September 11..

Well, September 11.. the day 6 years ago where Osama had his 'jihad' warriors to crash into the World Trade Center.. and the Pentagon.. causing trauma and fear into the citizens of New York City and Washington....

Aihhss... I wonder why some people has to have their birthdays on such a sad day..... hahahahhahahaha.. jk jk.. Anyways.. Happy Birthday Sheanee Poh...!!! You're old.. you're 20 man.. gosh...! Haha..... I can say that for another month.. realize that..? Hehe.. anyways.. have a good one and take some time off your 40% essay and celebrate!

I couldn't find a good picture of you alone.. so this will do.. hehe

On another note, I'll be watching the Australia v Argentina game at MCG.. pictures up later!

Future..?

It seems like on most ppl's blog is talking about what to do in future.. haha.. everyone seems as lost.. is that what we call.. pre-graduation crisis..? This weekend has been dreadful.. I've spent two days in the law library.. completing the law assignment.. I'm so so so so so.. looking forward to next week.. I know it ain't gonna be much better.. I've got EPM and the marketing assignment to do.. but at least.. it's holidays! Get a breather.... and catch up with work at the same time..

I feel third year is definitely the hardest.... among all my study years.. who the hell ever told me that university was honeymoon life? Well, it's honeymoon life if you don't care.. other than tht.. uni life is really tough.. even commerce students like me who only have 12 hours.. feels stretched to the max certain times.. this is because we are no longer spoon fed.. we are no longer told what to do.. they just give it to u.. u do it.. if u don't know how to do it.. u get it..

Well.. that's the harshness of uni life... I feel like sometimes you just run out of steam along the way.. and wanna give up.. but you somehow drag yourself till you're done.. I'm not better than a lot of ppl.. but I think at least I put in effort in doing something... some ppl just give up on themselves... and just go downhill from there..... they never pick themselves up again.. they blame it on under elements..... they blame it on other ppl.... but I don't understand why they nvr blame themselves and start over again..? It just puzzles me....

I know they have issues.. but everyone has issues.. don't they..? Anyways... I'm praying hard.... everything goes on smoothly for me.. for the next 2-3 months till I end my time here... and go back to somewhere.. I call 'home.'

Tea with honey

It's surprising how good tea tastes with honey.... hmmm... give it a try next time when you're up doing your assignments or sutdying or whatsoever.. a good substitute for sugar! Well.. anyways.. the tax law assignment is really a pain in the ass.. haha.. Before I attended university and college, I always thought the books would be as thick and heavy as a telephone book.. Well through out the years.. the textbooks weren't that thick.. but finally this semester.. the thickness of both the tax law books are probably 1.5 of a telephone book. Gosh.. can u imagine how much material u have to cover, if u were to cover the legislations, the textbook, the lecture notes and not to mention the tutorials! I think u'll go crazy!

Anyways, derivatives mid-sem finally ended, I spent the night before that with my eyes open till 6 a.m in the morning, I really need to and I'm desperate to rectify this problem. I think this is a disorder they call anxiety.. anxiety of assessments to be specific or in my case.. anxiety of EXAMS! Haha.. maybe the stress is really on for me.. I'm really desperate to graduate and take a good break.. but oh well.. which uni student does not want to graduate? Will seriously wanna rectify this problem before my finals.. any suggestions anyone..?

Well.... looks like the two week break that I've been waiting for is coming next week.. but.. I guess I've got lots to catch up during that break and hope I don't bum around and get nothing done within that two weeks.. I got two assignments worth 30% due on October 5th.. seriously.. life as a uni student is not easy.... I'm not saying working life will be easier.... at least I'm paid for it right..? haha... Anyways, have a fun-filled weekend everyone!

First Hurdle...

Well, just came back from library, had a hardcore study session on derivatives.. tomorrow is the 30% worth mid-sem.. it's only on 3 lectures.. which worries me a lot.. cos u need to know ur stuffs inside out.. I'm sort of ready.. but still nervous some how.. had difficulty sleeping again last night.. I wonder what the bloody hell is wrong with me.. everytime have difficulty sleeping especially near this big occassions.. really hope I could find some remedy to sleep well everyday...ARGHHHHHH

This marks my very first major hurdle, testing on how much time I've spent on studying this subject and getting ready for it.... It's already week 7 it's like more than half of the way already.. I'm really anxious to get to the finish line of the race.. so that I can finally rest, relax, take a good 3 month break, restore everything back to normal.. without having to think about anything.. not even job applications or etc... I just want a break...

I really don't care about being rich.. I really don't care about having a really outstanding future.. becoming a CEO earning hundreds of thousands of dollars.. I don't care if people say I'm wasting my parents money or my family next time would not have a good future.. we don't know about the future.. so why not just concentrate on the present... I just wanna be happy and do what I really want and be at where I really want... that's all..

Happy 50th Birthday

Despite your imperfections..

Despite your unfairness...

Despite your under-development...

Despite your different treatments...

Despite you forcing us to move away...

Despite everything...

Happy 50th birthday....

I could only hope things gets better from here on.. I hope... I hope..

Flashes of the past..

Yesterday while I was trying to sleep, flashes of my past.. came to me like a slideshow, started from my first year in Clunies, Greycourt my high school days and my primary days. It was exactly like a slideshow that were playing on my mind. Well, I realized while my life is monotonous, but it does had its good times...

My year in Clunies was probably the best one in my 3 years in Melbourne. Being the new kid on the block, everything seems new, everything seems fresh, everything seems fun! The crazy stuffs that we used to do, the crazy moments and everything.. Well, as time goes by, everything mellows down, things change, our thinking changes, we take different paths in our life.. Along the way, we lose some company, we gain some... but the memories last I guess..

We try to erase what's painful, we get rid of them.. so that.. when the slideshow appears on your mind, it's a happy one, one that you wish to see all the time, one that you would smile at and realize how reckless you were but yet you had fun being reckless.

Somehow along the way, you become less reckless, you know you have a responsibility, you realize you are here to get a certain job done. You realize you no longer could be ignorant and think of your own needs. You know that your decision affect others.. you know that you must complete what you ought to do, you think about your future and what's coming for you.

Well I guess, becoming older means losing some of the things that you used to enjoy doing and extra responsibilities. I think this is what everyone faces in their life, a path that they could never avoid, it's just like you know the road is full obstacles as you walk on.. but somehow you need to walk on.. as there might be a beautiful path after the obstacle.. somewhere out there.. there's something waiting for you.. is that what we call.. Destiny..?

Beautiful Weather....

Today's weather was one of the best in recent days.. I've always been craving for such a weather.. not too warm.. not too cold.. and most importantly.. sunny.. it makes your day.. much more beautiful and not so gloomy. If I were to pick a season to get rid of.. I would get rid of winter.. cold, wet, and gloomy. Makes you feel like not doing anything and just cuddle yourself up in ur blanket...

Today's weather makes you feel like going out.. doing some outdoor activities.. play some footy.. picnic.. or anything at all.. How I wish everyday's weather was like today's one..

Anyways.. week 6 next week... half way throught.. my last 6 weeks of uni.. hopefully.. haha.. I'll need a long break before I actually want to do postgrad or anything at all.. Time to get into the groove.. time to start studying hard and complete this final lap...

All the hype about commerce ball ended on Thursday.. it wasn't a bad event I supposed.. good time to take some good photos with your close friends.. as I put back my suit into the wardrobe.. I was thinking.. the next time I'm wearing this would be my graduation.. haha.. well.. all I can say.. that 100 bucks was worth it.. no matter how shitty the afterparty was.. haha.. it was time well spent with all my friends.. like what Veron said.. the next time we'll be doing something crazy like this is at someone's wedding.. I really wonder.. whose invitation will I get 1st..? hehe.. Ken n CC, Veron n CK.. or maybe we're in for a surpirse...? Haha....

Well, I wished my weekends were longer.. then I could do so much more.. I could go for the musical.. I could go watch footy.. I could go play soccer or basketball.. and I could play poker and watch Liverpool play..... there's just too much to do.. but don't know where to find the time.. I'm torn between having fun and working hard!

Anyways.... keep having lots of fun !

Easily satisfied.. ambition-less or just weak..?

As time passes by, I realize my desire to succeed in life or to have more in life declines. For me now, I think that nothing is more important than a cup of coffee in the morning, having my favourite teh tarik or teh special ( this tea mixed with goat's milk.. damn it's good!), playing futsal or basketball at least once a week, my weekly dosage of the EPL, watching my hong kong drama everyday and not to mention accompanying my parents every now and then.

If you realized, the thing I mentioned above is nothing related to my future at all.. haha.. I never thought of what job should I be doing, how much money I would be earning a month or which company (in particular which big 4) will I be working for. All these things hardly come to my thoughts and all I ever thought of was just to complete my course and to see where I'll go from there... everytime someone asks me.. what you gonna do or have you applied for a job.. my answer will be.. " I don't know.. wait till I graduate and I'll see where I go from there.."

Without realizing it, it's already the end of week 3 and the start of week 4 is just days away, meaning that I'm 1/4 of my way through my last semester of uni. As usual, it feels like I've just landed at Tullamarine just a while ago. I realize as time passes by, I need more of my 'alone' time, I prefer to have more space for myself. I don't know whether it's good or it's bad.. sometimes loneliness kicks in with this changed attitude of mine.. I'm trying really hard to be strong and not to break down again under stress or whatsoever.. I'm already 21, this is my last chance.. my very last chance.. to be able to stand up on my on feet.. and to show some results...