6 a.m walk/run in princess park

I haven't slept the entire night but I still feel awake. It was 5.45 a.m, I asked my friend on msn.. whether I should go for a run.. he told me, "Why not? If I was in Melbourne I would definitely do that." So, I set off on my little adventure to try running in princess park at 6 a.m in the morning. It was really windy, I started off running really fast.. I really wanna run off all my frustration, all my worries and everything that's I've kept inside me for so long... I wanna run it all away.. I told myself... I wanna run as fast as I could.. even the wind wouldn't stop me. Well.. eventually.. I was too tired.. I couldn't find that motivation that I always found when I ran in Princess Park.. it was just too windy.. As I ran.. I realize.. I've been always going against the wind.. trying to change things that's beyond my control and trying to force my way through.. I understand now.. there's no point to run against the wind.. it slows u down.. it tires you.. It tires you when you realize.. no matter how hard you try.. how fast you run.. you'll never run faster than others.. It tires you when people look at the fact.. you can't run faster than others.. it tires you.. when you're constantly compared with others who are better than you..

I decided to sit down at the railing... the wind blew gently at my face.. it felt so comfortable for one moment.. it felt so relaxing.. It was as if.. it told me to just stop running.. and just relax and look around you.. there's more than just completing that lap around the park. It's not how fast you run.. it's about how much you enjoy it. The swing caught my attention next.. I sat on it.. swinging myself a little bit.. it reminded me of my young days.. when everything was carefree and taken care of. I always wondered.. why can't I go back to those days..? But deep inside, I know.. I'm turning twenty soon.. I should be responsible for all my actions. I know I can't return to happy moments.. just as much as other people wants to.. I only have one option.. move forward.. yeah.. and so I did that.. and walked all my way back to IH.. was a bit long.. but quite relaxing..

I'm not sure if anyone even understands this post.. but it's just what I'm thinking at the moment.. haha... I realize.. I've been abusing my blog.. posting my anger and frustration on it.. well.. I'll see.. if this would change over the week.. well.. gonna go shoot some hoops and try to get to bed after this.. adios..