Something really bothered me today.. I really don't know what is it, but I was jus really bothered. I'm really frustrated.. but I don't know what is the main thing that causes my frustration. I am not happy but I don't know what I am not happy about. I wanna improve but I don't know what I want to improve about.... I wanna break free.... but I don't know what I wanna breakfree from.. It's just one of those days that aren't going well and aren't going my way. It's hard to understand why because it's already the start of the holidays, yet I feel more frustration coming my way.
In my life, I always hated comparison. I hate it when my parents compare me with my other siblings. I hate it when they compare me with my cousins. When I was young I used to ask myself, why do I have to be like them? Why do I have to change..? It's not that I'm taking drugs or I'm a gangster.. I thought to myself.. they should be glad with the way I am.. after all I was just rebellious, nothing more than that.
Today, something really struck me.. one of my friend sorta asked me unintentionally.. he asked me.. "Why can't you be caring like him?" (I shall not disclose their names). I thought to myself.. for a very long time.. I didn't know what to reply him.. I thought and thought.. and I finally answered him.. "I am Kee Hong, he is himself, I'm sorry but I can't be like him." But in fact, sometimes, I wish I could be different.. not in every aspect, but some aspect. There a lot of things I would like to change.. but I know it's impossible to do so. Everyone says.. if there is a will there's a way.. does that always apply..? Sometimes. others try three times harder than others.. but in the end.. they don't get what they want.. sometimes people even sacrifice their lives to stand for what they believe in.. but.. what's the point?
Gosh....... just one of those days................... adiossssssssss................................. nitezzz....
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2 comments:
sometimes....life is really pointless...especially whn u ask alot of qustions n start havin doubts...but really sometimes u dun really need a reason to do it...although havin the extra reason grants u the strength to b motivated to do it...juz like wat u said...some ppl can even sacrificee themselves ....cos its to prove or protect somethin which they think its worth it...we liv in a world with expectations n sometimes some ppl dun really care...so i think teh best is to act wat u think is best for urself in terms of ur capability n wat u can giv n how much u r willing to giv...n hav more pride in who u r n wat u do...occasionally takin advice is good but for now u need to know that every individual is unique so dun force urself to do unnecessary changes until u find a good motivation to do it...n meanwhile juz do wat u like n remember that u dun need a reason to do everythin!
i think you DO care :0
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