It takes you quite sometime to realize that you are an idiot..

Today's exam was really bad, it wasn't tough, just that, my organisation of time was really poor and I had no plan at all. The exam ended at 4.15 when I actually thought it was suppose to end at 4.30 p.m. I've made this mistake before in my exam last year when I actually thought my exams were supposed to end at 4.30 p.m but it actually ended at 4.15 p.m and I did not finish like half of the paper, but it was a different situation back then. I got high marks for my assessments and I only needed 25 marks to pass. This time around i need 33 marks out of 80 to pass thats about 42% of the paper. I only did around 60% or maybe even lesser of the paper. I have to be really right with the stuffs i wrote to pass my exams. I know it's over and done with, but I just can't get it off my mind. It was really a bad error, if i had organised my time much better, I would have come out of the exam hall knowing I've passed the paper. I'm really not sure about it right now. I really don't know what to do.

I really do not want to have to do my summer semester, that would mean I'll miss chinese new year back home. Chinese new year is one of my favourite time of the year when I really feel happy. That's when I have a lot of fun with my friends and family. Missing chinese new year may seem unimaginable for me. haha, well, all I could do now is to study as much as possible for the last paper and hope to get a convincing result, at least enough to tell my parents that I did attempt to pass all my exams.

I really doubt myself sometimes. I ask myself whether I'm material for a graduate student and am I material for a good employee of any company in the future. Am I a good son, good friend or a good person? What's my worth to everyone? It keeps building in me. Sometimes u feel, u are good for nothing... u are just here as a bystander to see everyone achieving whatever they want while u stay in wherever u are and watch them.