perceptions...

It's been about 3 weeks since I came back to Melbourne. Things did not start off the way I really wanted it to be, I was troubled by a lot of problems especially with my self-esteem. I felt irresponsible for certain decisions I made. I felt like I could have done better with certain aspects of my life. Well, life's like that.. full with wrong decisions and perceptions.

Sometimes, you hope that the person you care for would really care about you, but I guess in reality things doesn't always go that way. I know I might not be the greatest of person anyone could trust or talk to. I know I might not be the fun guy that could cheer you up when you're down, but at least I know, when you need my help and if you are my good friend or you are a nice person, I would definitely help you. I don't come up with lies that certain people are my good friend and when I'm behind their backs I say different stuffs about my friendship with them. For those ppl, I'm sorry but you are jus not a true friend and you are a hypocrite. I might have criticised certain people or certain individual, but at that point when I'm making that comment it's either I was too angry or I wasn't really thinking. If I've ever done that, I sincerely apologise.

I just hope that certain people would hold to their words. When they tell you nice stuffs like you are a nice guy, you are my best friend or whatsoever, I really hope they actually mean it. Words can be said at anytime and any place but the most important thing is that, they sincerely come out from you. It really beats the point if you go around and tell everyone you're my good friend or whatsoever hoping that you'll have more friends or your friends will help you when you need help. If some of you out there think that I'm not good enough to be your friend, then let me know. I wouldn't say a word..

I can't say that I'm perfect person that have never really made a mistake before, I have made mistakes before and I really regret it right now. I know I shouldn't hope for appreciation when I offer help to anyone at all, but seriously some appreciation will really make up someone's day.

Well, I guess life will never be conflict-free or problem-free. In life, we have to put up ourselves with a lot of truths and lies. We even lie to ourselves sometimes just to put give ourselves some hope. It's not wrong to hope, but it just means that you're lying to yourself.

Hmmmm... my recent posts sounds like morale studies or something like that. I guess I should stop here. Have a pleasant weekend everyone..