Searching..

After recent times, I realize that I really don't like the feeling of being alone, but at the same time, I need some time off to clear my mind. My recent actions has made me look like an anti-social. I don't know why I need a lot of rest, at the same time I'm hoping that someone would pop up at my door for a little chat with me. Let it be anything at all, from gossips to anything at all. Loneliness does kick in sometimes, especially when everyone is busy with their stuffs and all that. I felt left out at recent times. I feel like i don't belong anywhere...

I remember my tuition teacher used to tell us that teenagers tend to lose themselves in search of an identity. Am I that teenager who's losing himself..? Am I searching for an identity..? I really don't know.. u tell me.. It seems that my emotional rollercoaster is spinning.. ever faster.. it changes within seconds... what am I upset about..? what do I not like..? I really can't tell as well.. I just feel upset.. that's it.. weird eh..?

I was thinking.. if i would relate myself to a character in a hollywood film, I would say that I'm similar to analkin skywalker or darth vader. I have a lot of fear... If i were to live in a jedi world, I think i'll be him.. ok.. probably i'm not as good looking as he is.. i'm saying character wise... I fear a lot.. even small stuffs... i'm not evil.. just have a lot of fear.. Well, I guess.. if u give me a light sabre... i might go kill someone.. (just kidding!)

Anyways, hopefully things improve! fingers crossed..