As I bid my farewell...

For the past 1 year, staring blankly at the the view outside the balcony of the verve apartments has been one of my favourite pastime. It's really calm and soothing after a long day or a great moment of peace before starting the day. Guess this might be the last time, I ever look out those glass doors again.

It's not easy when you realize that you are gonna leave some place you have been for the past three years. Melbourne is not perfect, but I guess it is really a nice place to stay in especially for those who migrate. It's not as quiet as before, but I guess what makes my stay here fun is that I get the freedom I don't get at home like what most of my friends would stay. It is almost impossible for me to get out of my house at wee hours of like 1 a.m or 2 a.m in the morning. Where else, I could do it here...

The past few days was fun-filled with the two new friends I made from Jeannie's graduation, going to the casino, having coffee, going to the beach and just talking rubbish all the time. It makes it even harder to want to just leave without a heavy heart. It just makes me feel like staying here for a bit more longer or at least till new year's over! I want to see the fireworks here as I have never celebrated new years here... man.. what a day to leave.. on new year's eve when all the celebrations are going on! I'll have to celebrate on the plane... I'm not even sure I'm ready to start work, but I know I've gotta do so.. I can't rely on my parents anymore... I need to change (I've said this a million times), I realize I am not really a very responsible person...

Oh well.. what's gotta come has to come... I know it's time for me to go home.. I know I'll be back here some day.. I don't know when.. but I know Melbourne has became my second home.. and if I ever want to move.. Melbourne's the place... I feel like I haven't seen enough of Melbourne... I've not gone to enough places.. Maybe I'm a home person and hardly go around.. even in Melbourne.. I rather spend my weekends lazying off the couch.. or bed... haha.. now I'm regretting..! Gosh...

Anyways, I want to thank of all you Melbournians.. for my great experience here for the past 3 years.. sure it hasn't been all high... but I do treasure the times I've spent with each and everyone of you.. It's been nice knowing all of you.. it's been nice doing random shits together with you guys.. I'm really sorry if I ever did anything or say anything to harm anyone.. (I probably didn't mean it).

Take care everyone and have a great year ahead of you guys! I shall see you guys soon... Ciao!

The future looks bleak for my home...

It's sad to say.. recent events really has put me to dwell with my decision of going back home. It keeps me thinking whether I have a future back home, whether it is even safe for me to return home. If I had a choice, I would love to bring my family here, but I know that's nearly impossible my parents have lived their life there for the past 60 over years. How do you expect someone to change their style of living after 60 years? Not to mention, they would have tremendous trouble communicating with the people here....

Everytime I look at the local newspapers.. it saddens me.. it keeps me thinking.. it's been a long time.. we have given 'them' enough time and opportunities to catch up with 'us'. It's just that they are slow in a very 'special' way. Why the differences? Why the different treatment? Why the lack of transparency? Why the lack of freedom? Why sending away all your talented people to somewhere else? Who is it to be blamed? The way we are going, we will never achieve what we are supposed to achieve in another 12 years time.. DEVELOPED BY THAT TIME? You must be joking.... The way we do stuffs is no different from our 'neighbours'... such autocracy imposed.. WHAT DEMOCRACY IS THERE?

Deep in my heart right now, I know I'll be back in here some day.. not so soon.. but some day I'll return.. when there is nothing more left back home.. nothing to be proud of.. nothing that will keep me there anymore.. and nothing for me to savour anymore... I can't just think of the present.. I need to think of the future.. I need to think of the future generations.. I want to make a difference back home.. but who am I and what are my abilities to make a change?

It's time to wake up..

Finally.. I've graduated.. that has been my goal, my dream and my wish for these three years. I finally have joined in the 'elite' group of graduates, well at least that was what I thought. After graduating, I thought, I would be able to do whatever I want from there, boy was I wrong. Being a graduate nowadays doesn't mean much nowadays, graduates are everywhere, it's just like pasar malam goods which are available at anytime any day and being a graduate means that you've only completed a small portion of what you're suppose to achieve in life.

After my exams, I sat down and thought, am I capable enough to compete in such a competitve environment in the future? Do I have enough knowledge, language skills and communication skills to do so? I really doubt it.. I have a lot of plans in my mind.. but I just can't execute it, I want to improve my English, I want to improve my Mandarin, I want to be in real good shape and I want to have a good job, but I just don't know how.

All this while, I've relied on others to help me, provide me with guidance, I guess it's about time, I wake up from my dreams and start rely on myself and measure how far I've improved in these three years time. I can't believe it.. I still have to rely on my sister and kee win to help me with my job application.. I was thinking.. where will I end up if no one ever helped me? Am I really that useless? Am I really not capable at all? I look back at my life.. and realize.. all this while I've never taken the initiative to improve myself.. I've never bothered to read books, read journals, magazines or anything at all.. all I ever did was.. see what is in front of me.. and never looked beyond it... I relied on others to plan for me.. I relied on others to guide me..

When will I grow? Please let me know...

Patience...

I feel like I'm running out of patience already.. it feels forever before my first paper starts.. it feels like that time is stalled.. ppl are moving way ahead of me.. I'm still stuck at my count of zero exams.. I agree you have more time to study.. but I'm so afraid that I would forget what I study before my exams start...

Oh well.. I shall not complain so much.. I really feel so thankful for being able to sleep peacefully for the past one week.. I hope it will continue to be like this.. no more watching soccer games in the middle of the morning for me! That really screwed up my whole routine.. I'm starting to get use to coming to the library everyday now.. it doesn't feel that bad actually.. at least when I get home.. I know I'm done for the day.. and I can just relax...

I really can't be bothered about grades.. H1.. H2A.. I told myself.. I'm just gonna attempt to do my best.. I won't set targest for myself.. I'm gonna achieve what I can.. it doesn't matter what is the outcome.. as long as I know.. I didn't just waste my time and do nothing.. my method of studying might be wrong.. but hey.. at least I put effort into it.. I could answer daringly to anyone that I actually put effort into this exam.. I have no regrets...

Almost there... almost there...

Finally.. some good news came in today.. I woke up this morning full of energy... don't know why... I knew it was gonna be a good day.. the sun was bright in the morning.. I switched on the tv..! Liverpool v Besiktas.. I quickly showered and watched the second half.. Boy oh Boy.. if only we play like that week in week out.. we would whoop anyone's ass... even Brazil or Italy or anyone at all.. I reckon.. the width was there.. everything was there.. I really wonder how we lost to Besiktas away...? It's just not possible!!!!!!!

Anyways.. the good news does not stop there.. ! I went to 7-11.. I didn't see anyone there at first.. I thought the free slurpee thing was just some hoax to make me embarass myself to ask for a free slurpee..!! Well, I eventually made myself brave and went in and ask for a free slurpee... the cashier was quiet.. as though he didn't want to give it to me.. but he told me to get a small slurpee in the end..

And then... the dreaded hour.. 1.00 p.m.. finally arrived.. the time that will decide whether I passed my strategic marketing before I sit for the exams.. well.. I didn't pass.. BUT....... I was only 0.5 marks away from passing now..! means.. if they round it up.. I'll PASS!!!!! YAYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY!!!!!!!!!!!!! This is definitely the best piece of news for this whole week! I've never been able to know my fate before my exams.... well.. this is the one and only one and this is good.. Gosh.. thank god.. it was actually a blessing in disguise.. I would have to thank the tutor and lecturer as well! ahhaha...

Anyways.. back to studies.. can't procrastinate... good luck to everyone having exams... especially those having audit this Friday.. almost there.. almost there...... a bit more...... then everything will be done!!!!! YOU'LL NEVER WALK ALONE!!!!!!!

How bad can your Mondays get..?

Spending your whole Monday in the library.. is one of the worst things to do.. btw.. this comic strip was published on my birthday in the year of 1986! Gosh..... I seriously can't wait anymore.. I need to finish exams..! I need to..

Mika - Happy ending...

Wake up in the morning,
Stumble on my life.
Can't get no love without sacrifice.
If anything should happen,
I guess I wish you well.
Mm A little bit of heaven,
With a little bit of hell.

This is the hardest story that I've ever told. (ooooo)
No hope, no love, no glory.
A happy ending gone forever more.
I feel as if I'm wasted,
And I'm wasted everyday.

This is the way you left me.
I'm not pretending.
No hope, no love, no glory,
No happy ending.
This is the way that we love,
Like its forever.
Then live the rest of our life,
But not together.

Two o'clock in the morning,
Something's on my mind.
Can't get no rest,
Keep walking around.
If I pretend that nothing ever went wrong
I can get to my sleep
I can think that we just carried on.

This is the hardest story that I've ever told. (ooooo)
No hope, no love, no glory.
A happy ending gone forever more.
I fell as if I'm wasted,
And I'm wasted everyday.


This is the way you left me, (Oh I fell as if I'm wasted)
I'm not pretending.
No hope, no love, no glory,
No happy ending.
This is the way that we love, (And I'm wasted everyday)
Like its forever.
Then live the rest of our life,
But not together.

I won't backdown..

The feared time of the year is around the corner again.. EXAMS... somehow or rather sleep is difficult for me during this period of time.. I have trouble gaining good sleep during this time.. I can go to bed at 11 or 12 and end up really falling asleep at about 4-6. I know its weird... But tracking back, I realized my sleeping disorder didn't just suddenly come..

I remember when I was back in Form 5, sometimes I would have trouble sleeping till four or five in the morning while preparing for exams.. I usually drink a large thermos of coffee and can drink up to 6 cups of coffee in a day.. explains why I can't sleep and that I'm a cafeine addict or you can say that I'm abusing cafeine...

Well this time around is no exception.. for the past few days I've had lots of difficulty getting good sleep.. but this time around.. there's no giving up.. I'm gonna do what it takes to finish off this race.. even if it takes me to do things that I refuse to do.. Nothing's gonna stop me from finishing this...

Special thanks to everyone!
Just would like to thank everyone again.. for coming, helping me clean, cook, preparing....!

Back to reality..

Well.. after two days of a dream..... it's finally back to reality.. Haha.. sometimes.. I feel birthdays are like that.. you have a day of a dream.. and next day you're back to reality.... you have to start worrying bout studies and tutes.. and etc!

Anyways.. I would like thank everyone who showed up at the party and everyone who helped me prepare, cook, clean up and showering me with presents.. Thanks a lot.. It was a memorable 21st birthday.. One because I got drunk.. within 1 or 2 minutes of a tequla shot mixed with beer.. courtesy of kenny chua.. two.. cause this might be my last time celebrating my birthday some of the people here in Melboune... at this stage.. it's already quite clear that I'll be celebrating my next birthday in M'sia...

Well.. birthdays used to be really quiet for me.. when I was back home.. as it was usually near some major exams.. and I have to wait till November to celebrate my b'day.. haha.. gosh.. well.. over this 3 years.. my birthdays has never been short of quiet.. in fact.. I have a big bunch of friends celebrating with me... and I'm really thankful of that...! However, I've been passing out for my past two birthdays.. gosh.. my tolerance is just so bad..

Once again.. thanks a lot to everyone.. and thanks a lot for the presents and help you guys provided for me..! I really appreciate it.. and sorry for passing out for 2 hours and not being able to say goodbye to some of you before you leave.. really sorry!

The taste of summer..

Damn.. this is my 100th post.. considering that I have started blogging for well over a year and this is my 100th post.. shows that I'm a lazy bugger... hahahahhaha.. Anyways.. today's weather was the perfect weather.. It hit 29 degrees and everything was just lively and it's nice to be at outdoors... Most importantly... the season for chicks to dress up in their hot attires finally arrived.. boy I swear.. how I wished everyday was like this till the end of next week.. which is my final week...

Thinking about it.. I won't be able to see hot chicks everyday next time when I go to work... haha.. I'll probably see one or two a day.. but not as many as over here.. seriously.. there are a lot of pretty girls in University of Melbourne... just that.. you'll never get to know them.. unless you're thick face enough to just ask them for their name or phone number... and thinking of my work place.. the majority of the people there would be much older than me.. either in their late 20s or early 30s.. gosh.. even if they were hot.. they'll either be married or already have a bf..

Oh well.. such is working life.. and you'll never get to see such a huge quantity of chicks in a day at your workplace!

Random dreams...

For the past one week.. I've been having random dreams.. it started off with a dream that kaiyau *touchwood 1st* met an accident and crushed this small boy and broke him into two parts... damn random... joanna and jaclyn was in the car too.. After that, I dreamt that I was having a war with my friend who used to be my enemy during school days... I used a bazooka and blasted my last few shots at him and his army.. I had to hide after that... EVEN MORE RANDOM....

Then two days ago.. I dreamt that my dad and his friends had to go to jail for tresspassing my school *touchwood again*.. he drove his car into the school compound and had to go to jail... gosh.. and the highlight was yesterday.. I dreamt of small little baby ghosts... gosh.. if I've not mistaken ler.. I can't really remember.. but it was along those lines.. I really don't know what's wrong with my dreams.. conclusion is.. one you're awake from ur sleep.. dun sleep again.. u usually get nightmares or bad dreams...

Well.. back to reality.. exams are approximately 29 days from today.. and I haven't started doing anything.. this week is gonna be very busy.. have a lot of stuffs to do and settle and need to finalise my job application.. and like what daniel said on his blog.. flare dance was really good.. not only because the chicks were hot.. but also the performances were good.. I particularly liked the cops and robbers dance cos I find it the most entertaining one and easy too understand.. other acts were really good as well.. jus tht I find it hard to understand... maybe dance is really a complicated art... flare dance reminds me of my school days when I was a Leo Club member and I had to perform in a hip hop dance.. I remember testing my senior's patience.. cos I really was like a 'kayu.'

Anyways.. have a great week!

Did You Know..?

While tax law is annoying in terms of its assignments, I find it quite an interesting subject, there are a lot of things that I never knew why is actually explained by that subject... For example, did you all know that an employer is the one who gets taxed when he brings out employees for a meal and not the employee who is the recipient. Funny thing is, if you take away the food and consume it in the tax office, it might be exempted or deductible! Besides that, funny things like.. if an employee gets a whole pizza, then it would be taxable for the employer, and if its one slice for each employee then it is not taxable! GOosh.. really... and if you really wanna reduce tax for providing cars to your employees, just get your employee to drive around and go anywhere he/she wants in the company car so that it would reach a certain mileage and the tax would be reduced!

Other ridiculous stuffs are like GST, did you know that unprocessed food is GST-free..? Roasted nuts would be charged with GST, while unroasted nuts would not be charged with GST... I always thought that the price difference was due to roasted and unroasted.. little did I know that once you roast the nuts.. you need to pay for GST.. And anything that is sugar-coated has to be charged with GST... SO.. does that explain why Krispy Kreme has all its donuts sugar-coated..? Haha, I guess not.. and DAMN IT.. they even charged GST for bread with sugar coating and maybe if you eat those wholegrain bread.. it might also be charged with GST.. in other words.. just freaking it plain bread..! Quite ridiculous some of the stuffs that are included in this subject...

So ladies n gentleman, next time you know wat to do.. buy ur meat and vegetables raw, eat doughnuts without sugar coating, if you have a company car, make sure you drive it around everyday and travel around with it...! Do not eat roasted nuts! You are better off roasting it yourself.. If you are an employer, only give your employee one slice of pizza and never allow them to bring anything home!

Farewell..

Well, looks like everything has to come to an end..... a story's gotta have an ending so does one's life. The family friend that I mentioned about in the last passed away today, at 5.00 a.m in the morning. It's a great loss to both her family and my family as well. I'm saddenned by the fact that I do not get to see her before she leaves. It might still be a good thing though, as her prettiest sight would be the one that is kept in my memory... She's been really nice towards my family and I.. I will always remember her.. for the random restaurants and places to eat that she brought us to...

I will always remember her for being one of the kindest friend that my father's had.. I will remember her for her strong character, never giving up.. and never back down from her disease for third time... I will always remember the afternoon coffee that I always have with her... I wished I had a picture of her.. but I really don't remember taking any pictures with her... I feel sad.... but I know.. everyday she's alive means a whole lot of pain to her... I know she would be better off leaving..

Her death reminds me.. that everyone has to go through the cycle of life and death.. Her death reminds me that our life has been destined since the day we were born.... It reminds me what is the most important thing in my life.. So farewell.. my beloved friend..... you'll be in my prayers..

Little did I know..

It's quite a surprise that things can turnover in such a short period of time. Whenever I was back in Malaysia, my dad's friends usually treat me really well especially this auntie who is a florist. Whenever I'm home, she usually brings us out for meals at random places that we would never have gone by ourselves. She has a really strong character, she never gave up when she had cancer.. she fought it twice.. she managed to overcome it...

However, during chinese new year this year, she was diagnosed with cancer again for the third time. The first doctor she went sort of indicated to her that she had no hope and she was ready to join the Hospis organization ( I don't know how you spell it). Well, thankfully she got another doctor and the doctor told her she could still go for chemo. For those of you who don't know what chemo is, it is a painful treatment for cancer patients. They require the patience and determination throughout the treatment. It's not easy, you get nauseated, you feel sick and you even lose your hair.. but she never gave up.. she could still put on a smile eventhough it was painful.. she never want to show people that she was weak...

Well, despite all her determination and strength, after her last chemo treatment, the doctors realize that her cancer cells could not be controlled and that this time it could be terminal.. A few weeks ago, she was hospitalized, her hands couldn't move, she still smiled, she still told everyone she was alright. She came out and was hospitalized again two nights ago.. her hands and stomache swelling this time. The doctors told her.. she would live for another 6 months..

Sometimes, if I was the patient, I'd rather doctors not tell me how long I would live for.. it's just painful to hear.. I'd rather live in denial and just go on... I really wonder what's on her mind.. whether she thinks that she has still a lot to do, a lot of places she wants to go, about the so many things that she has to leave behind.. but I guess.. she already anticipated it.. and she's prepared.. Since her 2nd reouccurence, she told us.. everyday she lived was like a gift from heaven.. she didn't know when god would just take this 'gift' away..

The last time I met her was during winter break.. I really do not know whether I'll have a chance to meet her again.. I really hope I would.. All I could do now is pray for her and hope that she would not feel so much pain..Well, this incident makes me realize even more that sometimes we need to make sacrifices for the people close to us and not only think about our own future, our own well-being or running away from our responsibilities.. I know and I'm sure... I've not made the wrong decision.. and I know I've got to treasure the people around me.. for you'll never know.. when they'll leave u..

A tribute to those who sufferred in September 11..

Well, September 11.. the day 6 years ago where Osama had his 'jihad' warriors to crash into the World Trade Center.. and the Pentagon.. causing trauma and fear into the citizens of New York City and Washington....

Aihhss... I wonder why some people has to have their birthdays on such a sad day..... hahahahhahahaha.. jk jk.. Anyways.. Happy Birthday Sheanee Poh...!!! You're old.. you're 20 man.. gosh...! Haha..... I can say that for another month.. realize that..? Hehe.. anyways.. have a good one and take some time off your 40% essay and celebrate!

I couldn't find a good picture of you alone.. so this will do.. hehe

On another note, I'll be watching the Australia v Argentina game at MCG.. pictures up later!

Future..?

It seems like on most ppl's blog is talking about what to do in future.. haha.. everyone seems as lost.. is that what we call.. pre-graduation crisis..? This weekend has been dreadful.. I've spent two days in the law library.. completing the law assignment.. I'm so so so so so.. looking forward to next week.. I know it ain't gonna be much better.. I've got EPM and the marketing assignment to do.. but at least.. it's holidays! Get a breather.... and catch up with work at the same time..

I feel third year is definitely the hardest.... among all my study years.. who the hell ever told me that university was honeymoon life? Well, it's honeymoon life if you don't care.. other than tht.. uni life is really tough.. even commerce students like me who only have 12 hours.. feels stretched to the max certain times.. this is because we are no longer spoon fed.. we are no longer told what to do.. they just give it to u.. u do it.. if u don't know how to do it.. u get it..

Well.. that's the harshness of uni life... I feel like sometimes you just run out of steam along the way.. and wanna give up.. but you somehow drag yourself till you're done.. I'm not better than a lot of ppl.. but I think at least I put in effort in doing something... some ppl just give up on themselves... and just go downhill from there..... they never pick themselves up again.. they blame it on under elements..... they blame it on other ppl.... but I don't understand why they nvr blame themselves and start over again..? It just puzzles me....

I know they have issues.. but everyone has issues.. don't they..? Anyways... I'm praying hard.... everything goes on smoothly for me.. for the next 2-3 months till I end my time here... and go back to somewhere.. I call 'home.'

Tea with honey

It's surprising how good tea tastes with honey.... hmmm... give it a try next time when you're up doing your assignments or sutdying or whatsoever.. a good substitute for sugar! Well.. anyways.. the tax law assignment is really a pain in the ass.. haha.. Before I attended university and college, I always thought the books would be as thick and heavy as a telephone book.. Well through out the years.. the textbooks weren't that thick.. but finally this semester.. the thickness of both the tax law books are probably 1.5 of a telephone book. Gosh.. can u imagine how much material u have to cover, if u were to cover the legislations, the textbook, the lecture notes and not to mention the tutorials! I think u'll go crazy!

Anyways, derivatives mid-sem finally ended, I spent the night before that with my eyes open till 6 a.m in the morning, I really need to and I'm desperate to rectify this problem. I think this is a disorder they call anxiety.. anxiety of assessments to be specific or in my case.. anxiety of EXAMS! Haha.. maybe the stress is really on for me.. I'm really desperate to graduate and take a good break.. but oh well.. which uni student does not want to graduate? Will seriously wanna rectify this problem before my finals.. any suggestions anyone..?

Well.... looks like the two week break that I've been waiting for is coming next week.. but.. I guess I've got lots to catch up during that break and hope I don't bum around and get nothing done within that two weeks.. I got two assignments worth 30% due on October 5th.. seriously.. life as a uni student is not easy.... I'm not saying working life will be easier.... at least I'm paid for it right..? haha... Anyways, have a fun-filled weekend everyone!

First Hurdle...

Well, just came back from library, had a hardcore study session on derivatives.. tomorrow is the 30% worth mid-sem.. it's only on 3 lectures.. which worries me a lot.. cos u need to know ur stuffs inside out.. I'm sort of ready.. but still nervous some how.. had difficulty sleeping again last night.. I wonder what the bloody hell is wrong with me.. everytime have difficulty sleeping especially near this big occassions.. really hope I could find some remedy to sleep well everyday...ARGHHHHHH

This marks my very first major hurdle, testing on how much time I've spent on studying this subject and getting ready for it.... It's already week 7 it's like more than half of the way already.. I'm really anxious to get to the finish line of the race.. so that I can finally rest, relax, take a good 3 month break, restore everything back to normal.. without having to think about anything.. not even job applications or etc... I just want a break...

I really don't care about being rich.. I really don't care about having a really outstanding future.. becoming a CEO earning hundreds of thousands of dollars.. I don't care if people say I'm wasting my parents money or my family next time would not have a good future.. we don't know about the future.. so why not just concentrate on the present... I just wanna be happy and do what I really want and be at where I really want... that's all..

Happy 50th Birthday

Despite your imperfections..

Despite your unfairness...

Despite your under-development...

Despite your different treatments...

Despite you forcing us to move away...

Despite everything...

Happy 50th birthday....

I could only hope things gets better from here on.. I hope... I hope..

Flashes of the past..

Yesterday while I was trying to sleep, flashes of my past.. came to me like a slideshow, started from my first year in Clunies, Greycourt my high school days and my primary days. It was exactly like a slideshow that were playing on my mind. Well, I realized while my life is monotonous, but it does had its good times...

My year in Clunies was probably the best one in my 3 years in Melbourne. Being the new kid on the block, everything seems new, everything seems fresh, everything seems fun! The crazy stuffs that we used to do, the crazy moments and everything.. Well, as time goes by, everything mellows down, things change, our thinking changes, we take different paths in our life.. Along the way, we lose some company, we gain some... but the memories last I guess..

We try to erase what's painful, we get rid of them.. so that.. when the slideshow appears on your mind, it's a happy one, one that you wish to see all the time, one that you would smile at and realize how reckless you were but yet you had fun being reckless.

Somehow along the way, you become less reckless, you know you have a responsibility, you realize you are here to get a certain job done. You realize you no longer could be ignorant and think of your own needs. You know that your decision affect others.. you know that you must complete what you ought to do, you think about your future and what's coming for you.

Well I guess, becoming older means losing some of the things that you used to enjoy doing and extra responsibilities. I think this is what everyone faces in their life, a path that they could never avoid, it's just like you know the road is full obstacles as you walk on.. but somehow you need to walk on.. as there might be a beautiful path after the obstacle.. somewhere out there.. there's something waiting for you.. is that what we call.. Destiny..?

Beautiful Weather....

Today's weather was one of the best in recent days.. I've always been craving for such a weather.. not too warm.. not too cold.. and most importantly.. sunny.. it makes your day.. much more beautiful and not so gloomy. If I were to pick a season to get rid of.. I would get rid of winter.. cold, wet, and gloomy. Makes you feel like not doing anything and just cuddle yourself up in ur blanket...

Today's weather makes you feel like going out.. doing some outdoor activities.. play some footy.. picnic.. or anything at all.. How I wish everyday's weather was like today's one..

Anyways.. week 6 next week... half way throught.. my last 6 weeks of uni.. hopefully.. haha.. I'll need a long break before I actually want to do postgrad or anything at all.. Time to get into the groove.. time to start studying hard and complete this final lap...

All the hype about commerce ball ended on Thursday.. it wasn't a bad event I supposed.. good time to take some good photos with your close friends.. as I put back my suit into the wardrobe.. I was thinking.. the next time I'm wearing this would be my graduation.. haha.. well.. all I can say.. that 100 bucks was worth it.. no matter how shitty the afterparty was.. haha.. it was time well spent with all my friends.. like what Veron said.. the next time we'll be doing something crazy like this is at someone's wedding.. I really wonder.. whose invitation will I get 1st..? hehe.. Ken n CC, Veron n CK.. or maybe we're in for a surpirse...? Haha....

Well, I wished my weekends were longer.. then I could do so much more.. I could go for the musical.. I could go watch footy.. I could go play soccer or basketball.. and I could play poker and watch Liverpool play..... there's just too much to do.. but don't know where to find the time.. I'm torn between having fun and working hard!

Anyways.... keep having lots of fun !

Easily satisfied.. ambition-less or just weak..?

As time passes by, I realize my desire to succeed in life or to have more in life declines. For me now, I think that nothing is more important than a cup of coffee in the morning, having my favourite teh tarik or teh special ( this tea mixed with goat's milk.. damn it's good!), playing futsal or basketball at least once a week, my weekly dosage of the EPL, watching my hong kong drama everyday and not to mention accompanying my parents every now and then.

If you realized, the thing I mentioned above is nothing related to my future at all.. haha.. I never thought of what job should I be doing, how much money I would be earning a month or which company (in particular which big 4) will I be working for. All these things hardly come to my thoughts and all I ever thought of was just to complete my course and to see where I'll go from there... everytime someone asks me.. what you gonna do or have you applied for a job.. my answer will be.. " I don't know.. wait till I graduate and I'll see where I go from there.."

Without realizing it, it's already the end of week 3 and the start of week 4 is just days away, meaning that I'm 1/4 of my way through my last semester of uni. As usual, it feels like I've just landed at Tullamarine just a while ago. I realize as time passes by, I need more of my 'alone' time, I prefer to have more space for myself. I don't know whether it's good or it's bad.. sometimes loneliness kicks in with this changed attitude of mine.. I'm trying really hard to be strong and not to break down again under stress or whatsoever.. I'm already 21, this is my last chance.. my very last chance.. to be able to stand up on my on feet.. and to show some results...

Css Ball...

Sudden cold, sudden hot, I don't know what the hell is wrong with me, I think I'm sick.. but I just can't go to bed... I had lik 5 hours plus of sleep for two consecutive days... thanks to the commerce ball.. Daniel and I were the earliest to start queuing on Sunday! We were so kind that we let someone else get to the front of the que.. Well, hats off to Daniel, he initially wanted to stay there fore 24 hours, I wonder if anyone else would ever wanted to do that. He planned everything worked out the shifts and on top of it.. stayed the longest there in the cold.. trust me.. it was cold.. And hats off also to Damien who accompanied Daniel throughout the night..these are two people who are not obliged to stay there overnight for any reason.. but they chose to do so...

Anyways, something that I always tried hindering has finally backfired.. well.. my bad.. after all who are we to judge or talk about what other people do.. when I personally can't handle my life perfectly.. I am no one to ever judge what others do.. they do things for a reason.. they won't do it if they do not have a reason I guess... and they won't keep it a secret if they have no reason to do so.. So, like I've said this many times.. Well, I'll say it again, I would like to apologise to those that I've tried to interfere about their judgements and things they do in their personal lives.. I'll try my best not to repeat it again.. you guys can choose not to tell me anything.. I won't ask and I won't blame anyone.. for after all.. it was my mistake.. Sorry for being a busybody and such a gossip bastard, I know what I should do..

I figured out for a long time in the shower today, I figured out that my time here at Melbourne never really took off.. my heart lies somewhere else.. Maybe I'm just not right for Melbourne.. not the other way round.. I already know deep inside.. my decision end of this year.. I make plans.. but never work them out.. I screwed up a couple of things here and there.. I broke down in pain last semester.. I regret over and over again the things that I knew I should have done.. I fear for the worst that could happen.. yeah.. you can say I have no ambition.. I'm selfish.. I'm a coward... daddy and mommy's little boy... but to me.. nothing's more important than my family.. my future can wait..

Shit.. I'm just too lazy...

It seems like blogging is a seasonal thing to me. There are times that I can put on 4-5 posts in a week and there are times that I just go missing for months! Well, it's not like I do not want to blog, but it's just that sometimes it's really hard to find interesting stuffs to write about. Anyways, 2 weeks of uni just passed by like a gust of wind. This is the final semester.. it's like a final 50m run in a 200m race, you just don't want to fuck up and you want to cross the finishing line regardless you win the race or not...

As usual, I've been doing stuffs that I've been doing all the time.. watching my tvb series (shit... damn ah pek!), playing some basketball, going to gym, playing poker and TRYING to study ( the keyword is trying!). My life is just too monotonous.. it feels like I'm repeating what I do everyday.. again and again and again! The fact is.. I'm a lazy ass.. I have time but I just do not know how to cramp so many things in a day! Unlike certain people, who can cramp different activities in a day.. sports,going out with friends, going uni and studying at the same time.. shit.. I really want to be like them.. so energetic all the time!

Well, I realize that things hasn't really change for me, I still can't decide wth I'm gonna do with my future, my grades haven't improve tremendously, still a gossip king as ever (eventhough I'm out of IH), still as lazy as ever, still as pessimistic and boring as ever.. Yeap.. that's me.. Kee Hong Tan!

A picture paints a thousand words...

Kenny Sia was promoting this blog and I find the posts quite cute and unique compared to all the other blogs I've seen before.. so.. yeah.. if you have time to procrastinate.. go have a look at her blog.. she even drew a picture of that guy that blurblur has on her msn display pic in princess hours..

Btw.. did you all know.. that it's gonna rain for the next 4 days.. and the maximum temperature is 15 degrees..? Gosh.. gloomy days coming by.. and it has to happen during exam period!

Another home sick post...

Well.. it's the time of the year again.. exam time.. and this is the time that makes me think of home the most.. The time when you have others sharing your worry with you eventhough they are not taking your exams.. the time when you actually have someone caring all your other wellfare besides studying.. you don't have to worry about washing your clothes, cooking your meals, doing your own grocery and find your own way to the exam venue...

That explains it.. I'm a wooze.. haha.. I'm mommy and daddy's little boy.. well.. I really miss being young sometimes.. at least you have less worries.. at least you don't have that much burden.. In a year's time, I would have to start worrying about paying my phone bills, car loan, installments, installments and more installments! Gosh.. I really can't imagine.. how it would be.. What happenned to those days.. when all you needed to worry about is attending school and getting good grades..? I guess.. we are all grown ups now.. it's time.. we take over some burden from our parents and let them be happy from now on.. that's what that's keep me going.. that's the only thing on my mind.. reducing their financial burden by end of this year.. so that they don't have to worry about me anymore.. and maybe it's time for me to repay them.. for raising me.. and providing me with all I ever need.. what more could I ask for..?

I really hope that sometimes.. someone back home would ever stumble upon this blog.. so that they'll know how much I miss home.. it's hard for me to tell just how much i miss home to them.. I'm just too egoistic to tell my family members how much I wish I was home..

Oh well.. ramblings and ramblings.. maybe it's the weather.. it's making me feel really cold.. maybe it's the stress of coming thus far this semester and not wanting to just stop here.. whatever it is.. I really need some warmth now... time to switch on the heater..

On another note...

Happy belated 21st birthday to my bimbotic friend.. CC Yeoh.. thanks for being there in lectures and having arguments with me.. hehe

Strive..

Well.. it seems like... my last post was really pessimistic and all.. I guess it's hard to change sometimes.. since that post... I've been in a lot of debates about the existence of an idealistic world in everyone.. and in most of the arguments.. I tend to have sidetracked and said some bull shit I never meant to say.. I think that sometimes I'm too studborn and only accept my own view.. that is.. Kee Hong's conservative principles of life.. I guess.. yeah... everyone has their own ideal world and everyone strives for it.. but does it really happen..? I don't know..

On another note.. guess my efforts paid off.. or maybe I'm lucky.. I worked slightly harder compared to last semester.. and the results from all my mid-sems and assignments were quite encouraging.. I've never had this feeling before.. it's like the same feeling I had in first year first semester.. just that this time around.. I had to make much more sacrifices.. well.. that bring me to another issue.. does your effort in everything always pays off..? Or the more effort you put in.. the more you expect.. and the more disappointed you get when things don't go your way... Well.. I hope it does.. a week more from my first paper.. and I hope to strive on.. and achieve something this time around...

Well.. last friday marks an end to Semester One of year 3, this semester is really a different experience for me.. learning more stuffs, accepting new cultures of lifestyle, learning more about my friends and the stuff that I never knew they would do.. Well.. I guess, what matters the most is you're happy with what you do.. life is about being selfish anyways sometimes.. All in all, I feel that I have been more disciplined..more focused.. my thoughts do not wander around that much anymore, I've stopped seeking for idealistics.. I'm down to earth.. I don't know whether that's a good thing.. but it keeps me focused.. well.. that's the most important part for now.. the rest can wait..

Anyways.. good luck in studying to everyone.. I hope my recent posts has not bore anyone or brought in any negative thoughts to everyone.. like I said before.. everything's a phase.. everyone has phases.. it just depends whether they move on..

It's hard to be me..

Sometimes I find it hard to be myself.. a person juggling so many thoughts in my mind.. It feels hard worrying about studies, assignments, chores, lectures, tutorials and going to the gym. The fact that I'm a pessimist and a person with low self-esteem makes things even worse.. sometimes a person like me can find it really hard to pass a day without even being paranoid.. I feel like.. I'm the exact person my dad is.. he's is paranoid all the time and worries bout small little stuffs like me.. being robbed or kidnapped on the way home from mamak, my sister not calling back from work to tell him that she's coming back soon, whether the shower heater has been switched off when leaving the house, whether the car has been locked when he left the car, whether all the doors in the house are properly locked, a mysterious phone call from no one, and also every single bark that the dog makes at night.. sometimes, I feel it for him.. cos I'm just like him..

It's not easy being like that.. when everything you ever thought of was the negative side of a situation.. the negative consequences of a decision.. everytime during an exam.. I triple check the MCQ paper.. to make sure I did not mark on the MCQ paper wrongly.. and sometimes.. when I have no time to check my student ID.. I get worried that I might have written my name wrongly.. I get worried about the tutor and lecturers know that I gave them a bad review in the QOT.. ok I was a bit mean there.. but I was merely telling the truth... I worry bout giving out my name and date of birth to the telemarketer.. I worry and worry and worry all day.. for stupid things..

Not to mention.... I worry what people think of me.. whether they are pissed off with me or whatsoever.. I'm skeptical of human behaviour.. I'm vary of their actions.. I analyse them.. before I trust them.. I don't merely trust them.. I'm skeptical of true love.. and trust in more material stuffs like money.. I believe nothing is more important than the love,care and attention u get from your family.. so I try to give everything I have to them.. I believe you might just walk out on the street one day and get knock down by car.. I worry when I rush by a traffic light that is turning red.. worrying whether I got the ticket.. U can call people like me being a realist.. but sometimes.. it's not easy.. it really is not easy to be me..

Humanity and its downfall..

Well, it has been quite a while since I wrote something.. I think blogging is sort of seasonal.. haha.. u tend to blog a lot during a certain period of time and then you just decide that you're too lazy to blog and just stop blogging for a while.. Well.. all I can say is.. nothing much has happenned.. during this few weeks..... a lot of birthdays coming up.. and to those who I haven't really have a blog entries for your birthdays ( Raymond, Veronica & Isaac).. I would like to wish all of you.. HAPPY GETTING OLD! Hahahahhahaha... Hope you guys enjoy becoming old.. jk jk.. I'm becoming old soon also lerrr.. and I can feel it... ehhe.. well hope you guys had fun on your birthdays...

Talking bout humanity, I was on my way to Max Brenner's yesterday to have a drink with Damien, Sheanee, 24, Ashley and Jo.. I met this chinese guy probably in his 40's or 50's.. behind a dark alley.. he asked me for money as he had lost his wallet and he needed money for bus fare.. for one moment.. I really wanted to give him some money.. but I really thought.. was it wise to do so..? I really thought it might have been real.. at the same time.. I didn't want to be conned.. Besides that, I really didn't want him to do not want him to think that he could do it to others as well.. It was weird.. he saw two caucasian ladies walking in front.. he didn't ask money from them.. but me.. well.. maybe because I was alone and I was Asian.. I felt quite bad after that.. as I thought.. he might have told the truth.. but yet again.. what are the chances right..? It's hard to tell.. It's already hard enough to giv 100% trust to people you know.. needless to say.. it's almost impossible to believe someone you don't know..

Oh well, it just shows.. how weak humanity is and how weak trust is between human beings.. Well.. as I'm writing this blog.. I felt even worse.. as he was an Asian.. and for an Asian without much money or knowledge to survive in Australia.. it isn't an easy thing.. they don't get any unemployment benefits or whatsoever.. Aihhhsss.. I'm just confused.. I was quite afraid that he might just take out a knife and point it at me.. gosh.. that would have been frightening..

Mourinho for stand up comedy... WHY NOT..? He's funny

Well.. I was contemplating whether I should get up at 4.45 in the morning as I went to bed at about 3.00 a.m this morning. The noise of the wind outside the Verve Apartments just annoys my sleep.... It sounds like someone is constantly flapping it's large wings or some lousy banner hanging outside the apartment is being constantly blown by the wind.. it was neither.. it was just the sound of the wind.. gosh... it was annoying.. maybe it's the positioning of the building that makes it even worse.. sometimes the wind noises coming from my neighbours sound as though that the apartment is haunted.. the noise is just annoying and could be freaky at times.. our main door has the ability of opening and closing by itself if it's not locked.. how amazing..!?

Anyways, I just can't stand Mourinho being a soar loser.. he is too arrogant that he lost in a semi-final CL against Liverpool.. he said Chelsea was the better team and that they were more eager to win the match in the 120 minutes.. Well.. it just amazes me considering Liverpool had two goals disallowed and a header hitting the crossbar.. so.. Which team were more eager to win..? He just can't accept the fact that the Anfield crowd was just too passionate for his players.. The Chelsea team basically put Drogba in front and just kept putting long balls into his path.. hoping that he could lay it off to Joe Cole or Kalou.. or getting lucky by scoring.. I guess that was just not the day for one of the dirtiest player in premiership.. If there was someone who could compete with Cristiano Ronaldo in term's of diving.. I would say that person is Drogba.. Well.. back to Mourinho.. so much for his quadruple of trophies.. I think the only cup he would get is the Carling Cup which is like the size of a urinal compared to the CL or the premiership.. He just amuses me by calling Liverpool a small club.. just a reminder.. Liverpool have won 5 Champions League and are on a good position to win a 6th one.. and Liverpool's trophy cabinet is probably 5 times larger than Chelsea.. so I guess.. Mourinho should just become a stand up comedian.. cos he's sarcastically funny!

Random blabbing

Yawnzzzzzzzz... I'm really finding it hard to write something interesting here.. as my life isn't that interesting as I would say. Today audit mid-semester results were released and I wasn't too impressed but wat the heck.. it's only 10% and I shall not stress about it and concentrate on my audit assignment to catch back the marks that I've lost. TIMETABLE FOR EXAMS ARE OUT..! I have exams on the 6th, 12,13 and 15th of June.. the timetable is kinda bad.. but I like the fact that I'm ending the pain early.. but another question pops up.. wat the hell am I gonna do after exams...? Central Australia..? Adelaide.. or Tasmania? Well, if i get the free ticket from the IH cafe' night I would definitely head to Europe or the States.. but what are the chances..?

Well.. I can foresee a lazy winter break.. where all I do is go to the gym.. watch tonnes and tonnes of TVB series and maybe start watching some English series just to improve my English.. haha.. what an entertaining way to improve my English..! I really don't know what else could I do.. any suggestions or any plans guys..? New Zealand sounds interesting...... but I'm quite sure I'll be dead broke after that.. a winter vacation job..? NAH.. look at my lazy face.. you think I'll ever want to work..? Heck.. if I had a choice.. I would be sitting and just waiting for money to grow on trees or come out from my poop.. haha..

Btw, I won't be surprised to see the buildings at Putrajaya back in Malaysia just starts to collapse one after another.. the recent happenings at Putrajaya just amuses me and probably the rest of the Malaysians.. How could a state of the art building in one of the most important place in the country have ceilings collapse and pipes bursting after barely one or two years..? This just shows that Malaysians know how to build something and never knew how to maintain it.. just look at the Bukit Jalil Sports complex.. need I say more..? Or is it Malaysians are just plain ignorant until something major happens...? Well.. I don't know..

Weekends sure pass by fast.. but don't worry.. I got another one coming up.. hehe

Well, seems like.. life at uni is life on the fast track.. in the space of two weeks I completed for mid-sems worth a total of 100%. I wouldn't say I did brilliantly this time around.. but I'm much more prepared for it compared to previous two years.. I guess the fact that I moved out of IH has given me more time compared to the previous semesters. But oh well, IH was a good experience. I went back to IH for basketball yesterday and I really enjoyed it.. miss those moments.. haha, I'll be looking forward to more basketball games and soccer games back at IH some time soon. Oh yeah, cafe preview is next week.. maybe it's catch up time with all those people back at IH!

Anyways, I've got another auditing assignment due by Friday this coming week. Well, hopefully I can get it done much earlier. And for those of you who are wondering where my last post went, really sorry, it was just a moment of irrationality, I felt like I was whining like a kid in that post and I really couldn't stand myself, so I've decided to delete it. I guess life is always subject to other people's criticism and constant judgement. Well, all those criticisms and judgements should only make you stronger instead of backing down. I guess I just have to accept those criticsms and move on with life.

Next week is week 9 already! I really can't believe it.. can someone tell me.. why time is passing by so fast.....? I felt like I just boarded the plane from KL and landed Melbourne yesterday. Gosh.. please slow down time.... I need more time!

Lift...

Sometimes it hurts when you strive to pursuit your dreams and ambitions..
Sometimes it hurts when you expect more of your life..
And all you ever get was disappointments after disappointments
Sometimes it's hard to be perfect when you know you'll never be...
Sometimes it's hard to get up when you fall...
It's even harder when you have to get up by yourself..
Sometimes you wanna change who you are...
but you know you can't be any better..
Sometimes it's not easy to stay focus on what you have to do..
you tend to sidetrack along the way..
Sometimes it's painful when you push yourself too far...
Sometimes it's pointless to regret your wrongdoings in your past..
It can only be a guide for you to be better in the future..
Sometimes.. you know you have a limited amount of time left..
to prove yourself to the world who you are and what you're capable of..
Sometimes..
I know I gotta be stronger than this.. and just close the book and start again..
you gotta lift..

Pokerstars.net F*cking hates me...

It's half past 3 in the morning, I really wanna sleep but I really can't... some how my sleeping times are screwed again over the easter holidays... and there's just so much stuff going through my mind and not to mention the information overload I got from studying for four subjects.. Well...today marks the end of my easter holidays.. not to say I really had one.. all I f*cking did was stayed in my f*cking room for the whole f*cking easter and f*cking studied and procrastinate (note i put the asterix.. in case blogspot decides to ban me too...) Gosh.. it feels like the only breather time I got was when I go out for dinners.. boy was I looking forward to dinner time..

Anyways.. I was playing online poker at pokernet.stars the other day and I got f*cking agitated by another player and started swearing and saying stuffs bout him...... and since then.. I freaking lost everytime I played.. I wonder if pokernet.stars blacklisted me or something.. I never knew that you get banned from the chatting function when you swear or intend to swear.. They were damn efficient.. they sent me an e-mail 5 minutes after I sweared.. damn...

Here's the e-mail from them:

Subject : Chat Policy Violation

Hello jobless84,
We are writing to inform you that we have suspended your chat privilege for 3 hours as a result of your chat on 2007/04/12. The use of vulgarity when addressing another player is not allowed. When asterisks are seen during chatting, it is a warning that what is being put into the chatbox is not allowed. Using spaces or other characters, or otherwise defeating the censor is a violation of the Card Room Rules. At the end of 3 hours, your chat will automatically be reinstated. There is no need to write to support. Our goal at PokerStars is to be a fun place to play, where everyone can feel comfortable. Abuse and other disruptions to the games takes away from everyone's enjoyment, and therefore will not be tolerated. We thank you for your cooperation.

Regards,
PokerStars Chat Moderation Team

The following chat was observed:
ur mum's a babi
there's where u idiots send ur money there
look up at the dictionary dic..
i dowanna be ****heads

OK... fine.. I was vulgar.. but no need to make me lose every pot I PLAY...... DAMN...

The different side turned one yesterday...

Without me realizing it, The Different Side turned one yesterday. I realized it after midnight.. and I was too lazy to blog at that time. So, this is a post to celebrate a year's worth of blogging. Well, to tell the truth, I was quite reluctant to start a blog as I thought that I would be too lazy to maintain it and too lazy to post interesting stuffs. However, I decided to give it a try as my own personal diary and to write everything I want there. It turns out that, when you blog.. you expect anyone to read it.. therefore, there are certain issues that you have to be careful about before you actually post it online. My blog started out as a place for me to vent my anger and post all those emo stuffs. Well, if you realized it, The Different Side has taken for a change... it's no longer a place where I abuse with negative thoughts, instead it's a place I try to share my thoughts, my experiences (not to say I have a lot) and what I think it's worth blogging with everyone... in other words.. it's a place to procrastinate when you don't have anything to do..

Anyways, The Different Side have grown.. so have I. I've learnt a lot in this past one year.. I've learnt more and more things as I'm about to embark on a different journey.. last year was a transition period.. this year.. I'm wiser... I can't say I'm better.. because I really don't know.. but as far as I'm concerned, I'll try to improve as time goes by. I hope I'll continue to share everything I've experienced for as long as I could in this blog and make sure no one will ever see the same old Jakarta post forever and ever...... and I'll try to put more and more interesting stuffs on this blog. I never knew blogging would be fun.. but yeah.. it's a good experience and I urge you guys who have not tried it to give it a shot.. if you don't like your blog to be read by everyone, try to make it a private blog and only let the people you want read it. It's a good way to pour out everything that's inside but at the same time too much of it makes your reader sick.. A blog is also a place that makes you feel nostalgic once in a while and a place where you could put into words your happy and sad times..

Last but not least, HAPPY BELATED BIRTHDAY The Different Side!

Stupidity...

Well... I did the dumbest think ok..maybe not the dumbest thing.. but one of the dumbest thing I've ever done in my entire life. I got into the lift after coming back from grocery shopping... and I pressed on the 20th floor button. I got out of the lift and saw that joker who inspected our apartment and pointed at the end of the corridor and asked him.. whether he was there to inspect our apartment.... well.. he said no.. fair enough.. maybe he'll get someone else to inspect it. I walked to the end of the corridor.. inserted my key and realize.. hey.. what the fuck is going on.. did they just change the fucking lock because they hate us so much..? I was like.. wat the fuck.. how can they do this.. or I thought maybe my key was faulty.. I was like... damn.. So, I started pushing the door really hard..... and shook it.... suddenly the door opened.. I was like.. thank god Damien is in... but too my surprise.. it was another joker..... that I didn't know of.. I looked at the door and realize that.. it was 1901 instead of 2001.. I was like.. fuck.. I'm at the wrong floor.. man.. I felt so embarassed.. if that guy didn't open the door in 5 minutes time.. I would have broke into his apartment.....

Anyways, maybe I'm sick that's why my concentration is so poor.. gosh.. it sucks to fall sick especially around this corner when I have like 4 mid-sems with a total of 100 marks coming up next week.. I need more rest.. I feel weak some how.. don't know why..... maybe it's psychological.. when u are sick, u just wanna lie down.. even coffee doesn't give me motivation when I'm sick.. damn... let's just hope everything will be alright....

On a happier note, Phillip Island was fun and there's this place called a'maze' and things.. something like that ler.. that was quite fun and unique.. the vertical slide was fun.. balless Damien wouldn't get onto the slide.. man.. he's just a pussy...

A girlish post..

Bad picture of Miss kong and I

I was forced by KONG SU SAN to do this post.. so forgive me if it's slightly girlish...

Well.. easter holidays started.. finally the plan is to go phillip island on monday for a one day trip.. I don't know why.. this time around.. I really don't feel like going anywhere.. Maybe I feel pressured from the upcoming mid-sems in two weeks time. Ok.. to the girlish part.. I was darn bored yesterday.. as 24 went out with Randy and Drew for pool and Damien fell asleep while 24 and I was playing Fifa. I basically was jobless and played poker online for a few hours. Then I remembered that, I still have a 'reliable' friend and that's Miss Kong Su San so I decided to call her out for Italian Hot Chocolate at Brunetti's.

In the end, due to her greediness for waiting her friend to finish baking the apple crumble, we couldn't have hot chocolate cos' Brunetti's was close. So, we headed to Notturno's instead.. the name of this cafe' is a bit weird...... if u break it up......... it is Not- turn- no's.. Maybe the owner was trying to be funny by saying no-turn-ons.. but he decided that it was too obscene and change it to Notturno's instead. Haha, only the owner will know!

I slept at 7 in the end and got up at nearly 4 p.m. Watched 300 at Imax.. it wasn't too bad.. the storyline was alright and the actions were good. The screen at the Imax was huge.. but the seatings were crap and the audio wasn't too good..

Trips...Easier Said Than Done

Well.. who wants to go on a fully hassle free, no worry, no responsibility and fun-filled trip...? I bet everyone of you would want a trip just like that.. but that's not the true fact.. The fact is that a trip requires planning.. a trip requires deciding.. a trip requires accomodating each and everyone's need... a trip requires everyone to be compromising and willing to follow the organiser's itinerary.. and nothing else.. we need someone to be calling all the shots.. no other opinion should be allowed.. as too many chefs spoil the soup..

I think it's never easy being the organiser of a trip... it requires so much headache and so much everything.. everything is just a hassle.. and the problem when you plan to travel in a group is.. everyone is just waiting for the other person to organise the trip.. not many are willing to take the responsibility of planning a trip.. I totally understand why.. I planned the trip to go to Pahang during the summer break with my bunch of friends back home.. and my god.. it wasn't easy.. transportation was a headache.. no one could drive us to Kuala Rompin from Kuantan.. so I had to ask my cousin drive us all the way there and the whole journey would require 3 hours.. well.. when transportation is done and everything is done.. you set on your little journey.. u reach the accomodation and all.. you realize.. fuck.. this place is not as fun as I've thought eventhough no one had to pay a single cent.. and you start worrying whether everyone is happy or not.. well.. besides that u need to make sure everything is in place.. everyone is comfortable etc.. u're like the social welfare officer for the trip.. FOOD.. is another problem.. the fact is that.. everyone have different tastes and everyone gets hungry at different times.. so what is the best place to eat.. and what is the right time to eat..? The fact is that.. you can never keep everyone happy...

Well, if I had a choice.. I'd rather set myself on an adventurous trip like what Mr Bean did.. and meet fun people along athe way and had all sorts of different challenges.. haha.. he sure had an adventurous trip.. but oh well.. how often does that happen in one's life..? Btw, it's that movie was a little of a let down..

Anyways.. I hope everyone gets to enjoy easter to the fullest no matter what they are doing and the conclusion is.. never be an organiser!

yet another weekend...

Well, another weekend has come by and almost gone.. sometimes, it's the weekend that makes u think of home the most especially on Sundays when its sort of a family day for me. Yesterday, one of my nephews had his wedding and it's obvious that I couldn't attend his wedding. What a pity! A buffet dinner was on instead of the usual Chinese-style banquet dinner with that freaking annoying loud Karaoke with those ah peks and aunties singing their Hokkien and old Mandarin songs that tear your ears apart and makes you lose your appetite. Gosh, thank god he made the right choice eventhough he forced to make it. His mom is ill and he had to rush to get married before his mom (my cousin's wife) flies back to Taiwan to cure her illness. He decided to get married last weekend, had all the cakes and invitations distributed to all relatives and friends within two days and got married on the Friday a week later. Gosh.. that must be a certain rush with the Ching Ming around the corner.

Well, it's occassions like this I wished I was at home getting see one of your close relatives getting married. I'm very picky when it comes to attending wedding dinners.. I refuse to attend a wedding dinner unless the person who is getting married is quite close to me and most of the people who will be attending the wedding dinner are my relatives as well. I remember the time when my sister got married.. that was one of my happiest days in my life. The atmosphere was good, I helped to put up a slide show and everything was just great. It was just amazing to see all your relatives that you haven't seen in a long time around on that day.

Since I miss this wedding, I really do not know when's the next wedding of any of my close relatives I would be able to attend since most of them are married and the rest are younger than I am!

Alright, better get some work done before the weekend is over.. ADIOS......! And to Arsenal fans.. better luck next time.. maybe you should give your defenders more calcium drinks so they'll be as tall as Peter Crouch..!

KH's soccer corner..

This Week's Pick of the Week:

Israel v England
Preview: With England's most 'prolific' scoring machine Peter Crouch out, it's quite a daunting task for England to have a landslide win. However, with Owen Hargreaves back, it does give the midfield freedom to roam. A reminder that Israel have not lost a game at home for 7 years until their last lost to Croatia. With their home crowd cheering them on, does seem like a tough game for Steve Mclaren's pool of fallen 'superstars.' However, this is a must win game for England and I believe they might just pull it through. (Btw, it really surprises me when I visited the webpage of the Israel team at uefa.com, THEY WERE ONLY DISPLAYING ENGLAND NEWS AS THEIR HEADLINES, WTF?)
Prediction: Israel 1-2 England

Portugal v Belgium
Preview: A better bet will be putting your money for professional diver Cristiano Ronaldo to win one of the diving competitions at the FINA championships in Melbourne. Heck, he might even win against Michael Phelps in any swimming competition due to his distance in diving. Well, Portugal does seem likely to win this game against Belgium. However, with their most influential player, Deco out of the equation this match does not look that easy. On the other hand, Belgium has not been beaten by Portugal in an official match. Cristiano Ronaldo's diving skills will grab them a win at the end though.
Prediction: Portugal 1-0 Belgium

Spain v Denmark
Preview: This is definitely a surprise, Spain being the KING of qualifying is only with 3 points from 3 games. However, with several big names out for Denmark and the confidence high after beating England 1-0 at Old Trafford, does seem like a likely win for Spain at home.
Prediction: Spain 2-0 Denmark

Czech Republic v Germany
Preview: This is definitely a cracker and definitely a contender for game of the week. Czech republic the Euro 2004, semi-finalists is with a full-strength squad and with Klose suspended and Frings, Schweinsteiger and Metzelder doubtful, does seem like a tough game for the world cup 2006 semi-finalists. The factors point for a Czech win, but I still think Germany have enough fight in them for a draw. A reminder that, a win for either side will strongly put either team in pole position for Euro 2008.
Prediction: Czech 1-1 Germany

The cost of procrastinating...

Ok.. today marks the end of my first weekend of the week.. hehe.. if you all didn't know that being a commerce student you're allowed to have two weekends.. not one.. but TWO.. haha.. I've managed to arrange my timetable so that I could have Tuesdays and Wednesdays off.. which means I have two weekends! Anyways, here I am.. rushing to finish off my 1% tute work which talks about cost of capita... I'm just bull shitting my way through it.. I really don't know what the questions are asking me and I really don't know wtf I should write.. so.. yeah.. at least I didn't copy it..! And besides that, I still got a lot more of tute work to do... but I just can't be bothered.. gosh.. two weekends is not enuf..

Hehe.. to tell the truth actually.. I'm quite a changed man already..(Not!) Yeah.. see.. a semester ago.. I would have just waited for CC to finish the work and copy it off her that morning itself.. but look... I'm actually putting in my own effort to do it.. Besides that, I actually spent the past two days squeezing every ounce of my brain to solve the investments assignment.. hehe.. just ask CC.. Ok lerr... I think I'm praising myself too much.. Anyways, the most torturing two days of my week is coming up.. which is Thursday and Friday.. I have a total of 9 contact hours! Ok lerr.. enough lerr.. you engineering guys or science guys should be cursing me by now.. hahahahaha.. but too bad.. YOU GUYS ARE NOT DOING COMMERCE.. so live with it!

That's it.. another short post..!

Another one of my insomic (is that how you spell it?) nights..

3.30 a.m.. I'm bored and wide awake.. I tried to sleep but just couldn't sleep.. I had too much sleep this afternoon cause I was frustrated with my investments assignment.. gosh.. I realize when I'm stressed I tend to sleep.. I remember how I could afford like 15 minute naps while I was trying to study for Principles of Marketing last semester when I was actually way behind time and I desperately need to stay awake.. yet.. I fell to the temptation of sleeping.. haha.. I guess.. If I had a choice.. I wanna to be able to sleep the whole day.. gosh.. just hibernate like animals.. hahahaha... if only I was able to do that...

Well, the feeling of being awake at this hour makes me feel that everything else disappeared from this world and I'm the only person around... gosh.. ain't a nice feeling at all.. Arghh.... hate it hate it hate it..

Ok.. I really do not know what to write anymore.. haha.. I'm running out of ideas what I'm supposed to talk about.. I typed out a couple of sentences.. but just didn't know how to finish it off.. I guess.. I'll just leave it here and make it a really short post.. Good night, adios.. and hope everyone could sleep well.. unlike me...

.....?

18 March 2007, mark this day.. haha.. finally i wrote something again on the blog.. u guys won't have to see the word jakarta first when u ever visit my blog.. It's been quite some time.. 2 months.. since i wrote something.. It's not that I do not want to write something.. is just that I really got nothing to write.. haha.. nothing so interesting as for me to write on the blog and nothing so demotivating that I could write on the blog.. (in other words, just lazy ler.. hehe)

Well, tomorrow will be the fourth week of my semester.. what have I achieved so far..? Nothing.. I set myself into a mission this year.. to improve myself overall... guess I haven't really done anything to improve myself thus far... From the way I look at it, this would be the final year I would make a large impact on who I am and who I'll be for the next one or two decades to come.. Changes have to come now and fast.. I had a chat with su san yesterday.. and I really realize lack of self-esteem is really one of the biggest problems that I'm facing with.. I really do not know how I'm gonna go out of uni to face the real society if don't have enough self-esteem.. gosh.. I think I would have to change jobs every 3 months..

I realized patience is another thing that I need to have.. I realize my lack of patience has caused me drastically in many things.. not to mention.. poker.. I'm a really impatient poker player.. I do not like the slow pace of the game.. I prefer to speed things up... which means.. being one of the first to get kicked out of the game.. hahaha.. it sucks to sit out and wait you know... well.. guess... this is another area I wished I could change..

Well, that's about it.. I don't want to bore you guys with my self-motivation.. haha.. I realize long posts aren't really what readers want ( see.. improving on blogging skills.. damn.. I'm lame)

blogging from jakarta

Wow.. it was a two hour trip from the LCC-T in Kuala Lumpur to Jakarta with AirAsia. To be fair to them, AirAsia did quite a decent job in getting my mom and I on time to Jakarta without any delays. Everyone usually tells me that AirAsia is pretty lousy when it comes to following the scheduled time and the delay is usually pretty long. Anyways, the flight was alright and everything went well except for the fact that this dumb dude at the customs asked me for my flight ticket back.. dude... How can I show you my ticket.. when they only give it to u upon ur check in..? And besides.. no dumbass would wanna stay here in Indonesia for the rest of their lives..

Well, the ride from the airport to the hotel.. took up to two hours.. gosh.. the same amount of time I spent travelling from Malaysia to Indonesia. The traffic congestion in the city area is just crazy.. u barely move a metre within a minute. The people here just won't stop honking.. and the motorbikes here are crazy.. I pity those manual car drivers.. Anyways, Jakarta ain't no KL.. eventhough the shopping centers here are massive and quite up to standard. It has too many squatters around the city and people knocking on ur window.. asking you for money or to sell u something.. if you're here for the first time without any knowledge about this city.. u might actually freak out.. Well, to tell you the truth, a lot of websites that I surfed before I came here actually said that Jakarta is quite unsafe...

Anyways, I'm blogging at this place called the Horizon Lounge at Shangri La hotel.. dis place is cool..! I can get free drinks and free food at anytime of the day.. even free liquor..! However, you have to be a Horizon Club member to enjoy the benefits.. and you have to pay an extra fee of USD 30 a night.. well.. it's quite worth it I supposed.. after all.. I'm not paying it.. haha.. The gym is cool, the food is good in the hotel, the ambience is good.. overall I'm quite satisfied..!

Keeps me thinking..

Well, it's been quite some time since I posted up my last post.. some of you might even feel that I won't be blogging anymore.. haha.. well.. all I've been doing for the past two weeks is eating, eating and more mahjonging and mahjonging.. haha.. it seems like good food is a necessity when you come back.. I've gain weight over this two weeks.. gosh.. I would need to keep up with my healthy routine again.. if I really wanna maintain my weight.. really can't imagine what would happen to me if I keep eating like that...

Anyways, my holidays really got somewhat into a kickoff three weeks ago.. when my ex- highschool mates studying ACCA finally finished their exams.. just as it seems that there will be more mahjonging, more food, and more bull shitting sessions... kar hseng has to go and report himself to the NS camp.. gosh.. what a wrong timing for him to do that, when all the fun seems to just be starting.. anyways, it would have been better for him anyways... rather than wasting his time sitting at home.. and only eat n play mahjong... (seems like I'm talking bout myself). Anyways, this following 1 and a half months.. will be much more quieter without him... as we not have enough mahjong kakis.. aihhhsss.. sienzzzzzzz.. well.. guess it's back to jogging.. jogging.. eating eating...

I read CC's new year post.. it just keeps me thinking.. what would happen between me and all of my friends.. in the years to come.. would we still be very close..? would we still keep contacting one another, play mahjong and eat bak kut teh together..? would we all still be single and complain bout being single..? well, I really don't know.. all I know is.. everyone seems to have different paths.. we used to need at least two tables when we go to a mamak stall.. but right now.. two table seems a little too much space for us.. ahha.. we couldn't even find enough people for paintball.. and this coming chinese new year seems like a much quieter one with more people going overseas... before chinese new year.. it just keeps me thinking.. whether one day.. we would all be individuals and never be categorised as groups again.. like the 'kalou' gang.. would it just disappear? or would it remain for a really long period of time.. ? well.. i don't know...

Anyways, hopefully the return of another friend from Malacca would brighten things up a little bit.. and hopefully the trip to pahang would workout.. I would really love to post up a new year's resolution post.. but I really can't think of anything now.. wait till I figured out.. what I want to achieve this year.. anyways.. enjoy ur holidays and keep having fun no matter where everyone is!